Confessions – Chapter Hundred and Twenty Six

I really have no boundaries emotionally now I know. Imagine being jealous of Jack of all people. I didn’t want the man for myself but seeing my cousin with him made me want to fight and say Jack was mine! Much as I tried to tell myself that this ship had sailed I could not help it. It made me think of him even more and then there was that money he gave Nozipho the other night! That should have been mine not hers. She had just arrived and had not suffered what I went through for this man then she just waltz in out of nowhere and leaves with my bank card. Girl must be drunk on something. He is the only guy who ever gave me decent money not the r1000 I had gotten from Rodney like ii was some grade 8 student. I needed him back! I wanted him back. If not for love it was for the money. Things are expensive nowadays and only a stupid girl would fail to make hay whilst she still can.

I asked Sibongile if we could meet in town. I did not want to be in this house and I am sure she could do with a friend to talk to. There was just too much drama. She said it wouldn’t work but fortunately during that time Tswelelo called me. She was at the mall and said I should come through so she could be buy me lunch. I doubt very much that I wanted to eat Sunday lunch at my house. I told my mother and she said she would like to meet Tswelelo. I told her I was meeting her at the mall but on the way back will ask her to come back. On my way to the mall Rodney sent me a message saying he was back in Jhb now but he had a great time whilst he was in Bloem. He apologized again for the incident with Mr. Mohlapamaswi, my principle. I replied him and told him that I enjoyed his company too. Part of me wanted to tell him that it was the last time though because of the r1000 he gave me but I hesitated. He will just see by my actions that he had not won me over with his stinginess. A girl has needs.

At the mall I found Tswelelo in Spur. She was sitting with her sisters but as soon as I arrived they left. It was not because of me Tswelelo explained later but because they both had other plans. That was fine by me. She asked me how I was doing. I had so much to tell her. I think everyone needs someone to open up to get things off their chest. I was no exception. I found myself telling her everything that had been going on right up to what my father had said this morning. She listened to every word I said attentively even blocking an incoming phone call to stay focused. I really appreciated that. She told me that she did not support the sugar daddy side because she was not experienced in it but from the outside it always seemed bad to the girl because she had the most to lose out of this. Usually the wife does not leave the husband if she finds out, society is on her side whilst you the sugarbaby are ridiculed on the street for the role you will have played in trying to break a happy marriage! I quickly interjected and said that it was not a happy marriage but she said no. She said no one cares what he told you nor what you thought. Men lie about how bad the situation at home is just to you to feel sorry for them. If he was so unhappy why is he still with her? I asked her what if he was staying for the sake of the children and she said that if it was for the children then how does cheating help them? She said she did not support it at all!

We discussed my father and all he had experienced of which she said that one should never judge a book by its cover but there has never been a situation where two wrongs make a right. If anything someone always tends to get hurt especially in relationships. My father might have started off as a victim but instead of making things worse he made things better. She did however say she respected him for taking care of his children right through because most men can only pay maintenance if the court is on their backs. They forget that when they were making these babies they had so much fun doing it but once the bun is in the oven they leave. She made so much sense. I was glad I had spoken to her. It was only in the evening when I got home.

Tswelelo had said I must tell my mother about
Jack and Nozipho so that she could stop it. I had wanted to set her up for disaster but I figured Tswelelo was right. My mother was reading her bible when I walked into her room. I had forgotten to make Tswelelo come in to meet her and my mother was rather disappointed about that. Next time I guess. I sat next to her and told her everything about Nozipho including how she had met and kissed Jack.

My mother just laughed. I was shocked by this because you do not laugh at such a situation. I asked her how that was funny because that is not the way she had responded when she found out about me. She told me to watch my tongue and not speak to her like she was five! She was genuinely happy. I then asked how she can be so happy and she calmly said,

“This is working better than I thought. The two of you have always been competitive so I figured if she came she would most likely try compete with you. What I did not figure is that it would work out such that she ends up with that loser man meaning you won’t be with him anymore!”

Wait a minute! My mother had brought my cousin not to protect me but to have her go after anyone I dated. She did not even have to pay her for it because she was right, my cousin and I competed for everything.

My mother really meant what she had said when she said she will do whatever it takes to protect us. Wow!

This was an evil side of my mother I did not know nor liked!

****The End****

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike

I am a 30 year old guy and have been dating the same girl for 6 years. Last year I proposed to her and she said she was not ready for that next step. This year I proposed to her again and again she said she was not ready. She is 28 now. We both work good jobs and do not live together. I don’t know how else to convince her that the “I DO” step is important for our relationship. We are a very happy couple but six years is a long time to just stay dating.

Please advise me because I feel like I have hit a wall.

Thank You