Confessions – Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Nine

If truth be told growing up is very much about navigating family relationships and drama. You can grow up very close to people but when you reach adulthood you are either told how bad that persons family is or you experiences. It’s about kissing ass when you need to and showing face at other occasions. For most families every family gathering is a landmine where something will happen, something bad that is and it does not necessarily have to be directly aimed towards you for at times its aimed at others. The fact that you were there makes you part of it much as you try to step back and not be involved. Standing there at the door were two of the biggest losers in the world. Look, I am not going to sympathize with Sebo’s mother that my mother took her man and produced me and my little brother. Its life! Tough! We keep being told to pretend that when a woman takes another woman’s man she is bad and she is the devil but is she really. No one owns anyone and that’s the truth of things. We keep being told that polite decorum is spitting at sugarbabies, sugarmamas, sidechicks and even the very men who cheat but unless you are them and it is you that lives that lifestyle truth is …well…its none of your business! If a man finds that his happiness is no longer aligned with you and with another woman so be it because you can never ever force another person to love you! That is where we women get it wrong! We spend so much time fighting for a man who does not want us whilst he is busy with other women enjoying his life! Pathetic! Do you see how many women are laughing at Robin Thicke for trying to fight for his ex, writing useless songs and shit? Yes that’s what we women do for a living, fight for someone who does not give a rats ass what you ate last night! Sebo’s mother just needed to take her old shrivelled self back where she came from.

I shouted from the door who was at the door because I sure as hell was not going to let them into my mother’s house! Even if they had come to hand over a million rand I would not have let them in if my mother had not and much to my surprise and disgust let them in! What the hell? I was going to be that impetulant rude child then if my mother insisted on not having a backbone. I told my mother I was not going to my room because I was there when “this man and his mob” tried to kill my father yesterday. My mother asked what I was talking about because my father had told her everything well. I guess I am a parrot after all, I spilt everything that had happened at that event and how we had sat in the car for fours like we were Chubb security guards. I told her how we had to go buy food at the tuck-shop because they would not allow my father to pay his respects to a granddaughter whose mother had come to seek him out. I told her how pathetic they had made us feel especially at a time when we had come to be there for Sebo! Their vandettas! The toothless man said I had no manners but I stood up and told him that no, it was him who had no manners and was disrespectful to think that he can walk into my mother’s house, with his ex wife and think that we will just smile especially after what had happened! It’s not nice to see your parent humiliated and it had hurt me so much!

My mother asked me to sit down and said it was ok she will handle it. She asked them why they were here and they said they had come to apologize about what had happened yesterday. I was so annoyed and I could not help myself,
“You want to come apologize in the dark where no one can see you? Are you going to apologize too to all those people who saw you humiliate my father? Are you going to go to their homes and say no, this should never have happened? Are you going to do that?”
I asked them. You see the problem is, my father is old and cannot defend himself even vocally and my mother has been married to him for so long she has become passive as well! No one should ever come disrespect you in your own home! Nah, that one I refuse! They can call me ratchet and out of order but these are my parents and I will die for them if I must.

My father tried to reprimand me and said that I must not speak to elders like that. I apologized and told him he was right. Sebo’s mother then said that she would never allow her child to speak like that! The bitch! Say what? Did she know her own daughter? I told her to get off her high horse because she was part to blame for this whole mess in first place. My father was a good man who made bad choices influenced by her.

To this day I believe I let my guard down because I honestly didn’t see it coming. She clapped me so hard with her backhand I could not even react!

But someone else did…

My mother!

****The End****

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading. My marriage is falling apart. I have been married eight years and it has been one disaster after the other. My husband started cheating three years into our marriage when I was pregnant. I found out and he apologized and we moved on. After pregnancy I was not into sex and that cheating meant I took over a year to allow him to have sex with me again. Bad mistake! By the time I was ready he had apologized till he turned blue but that just turned us into this bitter couple. The sex was no longer gentle and it was almost like he was trying to prove a point. We went for counselling but that did not help. We had dreams of a big family but now he does not want anymore and he keeps saying that ‘maybe’ we should walk away from this whilst we at least talk. I obviously don’t want that and want my marriage to work. I don’t know what to do. Please advise me

Thank You

Brenda