Confessions – Chapter One Hundred and Forty Seven

Have you ever fallen in love with someone whom you thought truly deserved your love. I had that I think with Thabo but I was young. Now at this moment I was getting these feelings. I can’t explain it but when I lay my head on the bed and closed my eyes all I saw was Juju. There was something about the way he talked. His voice sent shivers down my spine even now just trying to remember how he sounded. I could actually hear his voice in my thoughts. Then there was the way he held me. It was as though he did not want to physically harm me. Again I say it, I don’t how to explain it. A sugardaddy kisses you like he owns you. Juju on the other hand, it felt awkward, as though he was unsure of himself or how I would react to his touch. A girl can tell the difference. Even with Rodney, I could tell that he expected me to follow his lead, he was the man and I was the child. I was happy. This is what every girl wants just to have a good guy who will treat her like a princess. It’s not always about the money. Simple does it and you get to laugh and be happy with someone who gets you. Maybe I should tell him the truth that I was in matric otherwise his friend might bump into me in uniform then what? If you are honest in a relationship it tends to last longer I reckon.

In the morning I told my cousin everything that had happened. She said she was jealous because he was the one she had been eyeing. Too late she never told me. I think men or guys think they are the only ones who have a code or call dibs on a girl, with girls we also have our on hints to let others back off. She had not even winked that she liked him so now what was she on about. This was not fair. She was genuinely upset. She said how was it that I not only got to have Rodney and apartment now I also got to have the hot guy. So she thought she he was hot too! The other friend had been a bit much I reckon hence why we both did not hit it off with him. I decided that I should take her to campus square to make it up to her. It’s not like there was much we could do in there and the other option was the mall but I was not quite certain with the taxis in the area so risking it was not worth it. The walk though was quite nice and she had calmed down.

She was fascinated by those Tshirts in JayJaays written stupid things but we only had money to buy one or two. Money of students. She then started telling me how much my father had been hurt by me leaving. I told her how could that be because he had kicked me out in front of everyone. She said she didn’t know and that she had heard him crying. He had ended up in hospital but it was not a stroke even though they suspected it is. It was more like a panic attack or rather that’s what the doctor had concluded. I felt bad but next time he must think before he acts. She asked me if I ever intended to come home and I said yes, during the holiday. Now I was settled and I wanted to pass my matric. I was not going to compromise on that because of the drama at home. She agreed with me that there was too much drama but pointed out that I was 90% of it and with me gone everything had calmed down. She sounded like a social worker. Every social worker will tell you that in most cases were they receive a complaint from a young girl about the situation at home, usually she is the problem! I knew I played a role but I never realised that I was that much of an influence. Awkward hearing it from her. My phone rang, it was Juju! He said he had extended his stay one more day and asked me to dinner. This was awesome because Rodney was not there. He said he was coming back today but he had something too attend with his wife.

Usually guys don’t take you out to dinner at my age because normally we are the same age or similar and if you live at home your parents won’t really let you out at night for dinner. It’s not unheard of to be honest but it was not I was used to personally. With Jack we never did dinner for fear of whom might see us and the dinner I had had with Rodney was a bit of disaster if truth be told because my cousin went missing with Phemulo. I was therefore about to have my first proper date with a guy and he was taking me out to dinner. How awesome was that? He asked me where I would like to go and because I did not know Jhb well I told him that any mall would be fine because I figured a mall gives you options, if dinner is boring you can always get into a movie. Fair enough. He said I don’t have to dress up too much as it was just dinner. Thank heavens he said that too because I was already stressing ong what to wear. He did emphasise though that I must not wear colourful leggings because was not from Alex of which again I had no idea where that was.

When he came to get me from my room I was already ready. I am not one of those girls who take hours to dress up. You can’t bother for an hour come on now, what are you still washing. I was not that much of a make up person even though my mother had taught me a thing or two. All in all I think I looked amazing in my skinnies and heels something which he agreed. We went downstairs and we got into his car. He drove a polo and yes I had been used to big cars by now for some reason I did not mind. I liked this guy.

We did not get stuck in traffic fortunately and at Sandton City he took me to the Butchers in Nelson. Mandela Square. This place seems popular at night. We decided to walk off the meal by window shopping. I must say this mall was huge.

Walking back to the car, I saw someone familiar. Of all the rotten luck in the world, it was Rodney and his wife and they were walking right towards us. I don’t know if he had seen us but this was an empty mall.

“Isn’t that your dad?”

Juju whispered!

It was indeed and we were on a collision course!

****The End****

@dairyofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading my letter. I am 32 and pregnant with my second child. I had my first child when I was 26 and two years later my baby daddy left me. He said this was not what he wanted. Now am pregnant and the new baby daddy just broke up with me too. I am not sure what to do because I never saw myself at that woman who will end up having many kids by different father’s. Who will marry me now that I have two kids from two different father’s. I believe in marriage and both these men promised to marry me. The later had even proposed and we had been arranging lobola before he jumped ship. A friend of mine told me he is dating a girl I know even whom I introduced him to! I am panicking now because how do I handle two kids alone. I had done everything the right way and still the bastard left.

Please advise

Masego