Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and One

I know most people believe that two wrongs don’t make a right but at times if we are to be honest to ourselves, doing a wrong gives you so much more satisfaction than doing the right thing. It’s not that I am a firm believer of a tooth for a tooth but this time I was going through with it, fuck my conscience and turning the other cheek! Zimasa was saying that her friend, my enemies’ daughter was coming to sleep over, an enemy that could have given me HIV? If I said no that would be turning the other cheek and there will be no satisfaction in that. You can spoil such people. You teach them a lesson they will never forget. Asthandile wanted me to cheat? Now I was going to do it in her face! I was going to kill two birds with one stone. Zimasa also asked for pocket money and I told her I will give her the following day. I was not about to piss her off now so I thought I should keep her happy. I asked her more about the details of her sleepover and she said they wanted they wanted to study and also just chat that’s why it was not a train smash if I said no. Those were her words not mine. I told her that as long as she lived in this house she can have friends over but with permission and they behave. She was not in prison. That made her laugh but with that phase one was in motion.

I slept in the guest room downstairs but made sure I woke up early. I wanted my wife to find me close by if she woke up. Fortunately Zimasa also woke up early as around 5am she was usually already getting ready. School started early for her. My wife who had slept on a sleeping pill was still sound asleep when I went upstairs. I had already sent a message at work saying I would be late. I had almost forgotten, I went outside to check my letterbox. In it I found an envelope with a lot of money in it. I honestly smiled. Finally the tide was turning. Finally I was getting back my mojo. The police had clearly gotten the warning. The threat had worked. I refuse to pay for someone else’s child’s school fees! Asthandile was still sleeping but I was not going to wake her up for now. I bathed and got ready for work as I always did. I then went to wake her up and told her that we had to go somewhere. She was reluctant to wake up but she did not argue. She still had that guilty look on her face so I doubt that for the next couple of weeks that feistiness would come back. She did not even ask where we were going that is what trauma does to you I guess. I kept talking to her as though everything was normal. At first she was not replying much but she eventually started making muted responses. This was very good. I made her breakfast but she said she was not hungry. My wife is usually that woman who takes an age to bath and dress up. I always tell her that if God was her then the world will still have not been made because He would still be bathing and putting on his make up before he decides which colour best suits his makeup! She would get so angry when I got impatient but she never changed. Today however in thirty minutes she was done. When she walked down the stairs I could not help but stare at her beauty. Beautiful yes, but evil!

Outside I went straight for her car the one she had left me with when she ran away with. She stopped when she saw that and she asked me if I wanted my car keys back. I said no. I told her it was ok because it was just a car and not worth fighting over. I think I made her feel kind of stupid but that was not the aim. She can keep the keys. I was not going to fight over keys like we had one car in the house. We were not going far. We were going see our doctor. I needed peace of mind on my condition. I was tested of everything from stds to HIV. It’s not an easy thing to do. I know that they have desensitized us to HIV and AIDS but doing that test knowing that you could have exposed yourself is hard. I was scared. I was petrified more the word. She too was tested. She seemed to have resigned to her fate. He did two tests, the rapid one which gives you results within thirty minutes then the long which includes sending your blood to the labs. On the rapid one I was found negative which was a huge relief I won’t lie but Asthandile he said the results were inconclusive. They needed more tests to see if the HIV antibodies were in her and the fact that she was pregnant meant that she might have to take preventative measures soon! Kharma is a bitch! Much as I now hated my wife I felt sorry for her! Note, he did not say she was positive!

The silence in the car as we drove was only broken by her constant sobbing. I did not know what to say to her. I even offered to go get a second opinion but she said no. She looked at me and said,

“I think you must leave me because I brought this on myself and to us!”

She said. I reassured her telling her that I had no intention of doing that and how was she going to raise a child alone!

“I am going to abort!”

She said. What the hell?

“No I don’t support that!”

I said calmly trying not to cause alarm.
“It’s my body and it’s what I want!”

She said as we got home. She went straight upstairs!

What now?

There was no way in hell that I was going to allow her to abort my child! I will hang her myself if she did that!

******The End*****

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I come from a very poor family and I matriculated in 2010. I had good grades meaning I qualified for university. In my family there is only one rich uncle who is more like a cousin of my mother. Him and my mother are not very close but for some reason we got along. He agreed to pay for my fees so long as I slept with him whenever he wanted. Disgusting as it sounds he paid right up to now and I am graduating. My mother often asked why he was paying but considering we could not even qualify for student loans and believe me we tried I always made an excuse. He is married and has kids who are totally useless academically and socially. The wife knows he is paying my fees but she seems to like me. During some holidays he would get me piece jobs and now one of the companies I worked through him has decided to give me an internship and this is even before I get my certificate. The boss there told me that my uncle had insisted on it so he pulled some strings. It doesn’t pay much but it means I can substitute my mom’s income (she is a street vendor) and also get work experience. My problem now is this, my sister, the one who follows after me is finishing her matric next week. She is super smart and I know she will pass. I won’t qualify for a loan as I will be an intern and already my uncle is saying he does not mind paying for her but I know the terms. He was not a cruel or bad ‘lover’ to be fair but the man disgusts me and I don’t want him sleeping with my sister. If I report him to his wife my sister will not go to school that’s a fact. My mother and us have a chance at a good life and no more back rooms but I don’t know what to do. I am scared to fail my sister because she like me desperately wants university to better our lives.

Mike it’s tough being a girl child coming from poverty. A lot of people take that for granted because when you are not the one suffering it’s easy to judge. I am tired of praying and crying. I just want the best for my family.

Please advise
Ziyanda