Memoirs – Chapter One Hundred and Two

I love children let’s just start there. I am a successful man, employed and I can take care of my family. I will never make an excuse not to take care of my children. With Lindiwe’s baby if it was mine I will take care of it regardless of whether she wants me in the child’s life or not! Now that brings me to this woman trying to first kill herself now kill my baby! Hell no! It’s not weakness that makes a man love his children regardless of who the mother is. I know when you marry one and you have kids outside she tends to hate the fact that you love those kids too. Asthandile will just have to be strong the day she findds out about Lindiwe. Maybe I should tell her? Most men don’t have the guts to tell their wives when they have fathered another child whilst in marriage. I don’t blame them though because our women tend to turn into pyscopaths once they know. Women don’t have forgiveness in their hearts unless at some point the pastor asks them to forgive. I could just see Asthandile right now if she knew how she would react. The woman was a problem now when I had no baby mama now imagine what she would be like if she knew I had one. She would probably kill the baby mama, child and myself in a heartbeat. She had no brakes this one. I had to tell her somehow though because it was a secret too big for me to keep. With her trying to hang herself and more iit was not the easiest thing to do though!

Knowing that you are negative has to be the most relieving thing you can come up with. I did not have to wait for my annual December 1st experience to check. My boss called asking why I was not in the office again. I did not hesitate to tell him that my wife had tried to commit suicide and we were at the hospital to check if she did not break anything. He was shocked, surprised, saddened all at once and said that he was sorryy to hear that and I should take some time to get her help. I was certain I had kissed that promotion goodbye but at this stage too much was going on. I was not worried that he would tell many people because unlike my dark skinned brothers, white people in my office for all their bullshit understood the importance of privacy. If I had told any other person I am fairly certain people who are not part of my inner circle would know. Personally though I felt it was time we went back too Mdantsane even if it was for a weekend. Lately my wife had a habit of making us sleep at a hotel everytime we went back home. It’s like she was ashamed of whom we were now and where we came from. This time however I was going to make sure we would sleep in Mdantsane and I actually hoped that either water or electricity will go. I wanted her to see what she had lost out on because you can be rest assured that it’s so rare for that to happen here in Rosebank. If water goes out here they announce it on the news and apologize profusely but in Mdantsane it’s so often no one gives a fuck anymore! Just be strong!

Asthandile and I decided to stop in Rondebosch so we could eat something. Last night she had not eaten and she was still saying she was not hungry. I don’t blame her though. The doctor had scared her enough to make her realize that she really had messed up. I was not going to rub it in. I told her regardless of what the results said I was going to stay with her. I could see she wanted to say thank you by how her lips curled up but she stopped. That’s like saying thank you after sex? In fact I have always meant to ask, what do you say after sex? Asthandile had problems. She was on the verge of losing her husband and home, could be HIV Positive and already suicidal. I wish I lived in America where I could have her put in a psychiatric hospital. Ok fine am kidding but that’s were she was headed. It was then Dalu called me. I had forgotten all about him.

Dalu told me that he had heard the voicemail and he had made copies because this is what he thought I would want. He said he was scared for me but we must do the right thing. We must hand this over to the police investigative unit. I told him that I did not want to because I had dealt with the matter. As long as I had the recordings u would be safe as they would be too scared to come near me. I asked him to make sure we had copies. He seemed reluctant about this and I could hear it in his voice. I explained to him what he already knew that if we reported them then the case would never die as it would now involve more police. Dalu being the lawyer that he was reminded me to trust in the law otherwise I would compromise myself. Dalu was that friend who was so righteous that at times instead of turning the other cheek and walking away he would go to war to keep himself righteous. If you have such a friend you would know how annoying it is at times.

“I have a legal duty to report this as a lawyer and as your friend I think you need an intervention. Don’t worry I will represent you even but I have to take this to the directorate. You will thank me some day! You might not see it now!”

Self righteous prick!

I stood up so fast and I ran to my car!

I had to stop him!

*****The End****

@diaryofazulugal

Mikeatdiary

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike

I have a problem. My husband does not like sex. We rarely do it and when we do its like I am forcing him. He will ejaculate within two minutes then either sleep or go watch tv. He is not cheating because I go through his phone everyday. We can’t afford going for professional help. I tried making us watch porn but he says it disgusts him. I don’t know what to do? Mike I love this man but as a married woman using your fingers reaches a point of not fun and embarrassing.

Please advise us

Lee