Amy B.

from the inside out


Come here often?

If you do, you've probably noticed a few changes. Just a little bit of simplification going on today. My life is so out of hand these days and it's not really anything I can talk about (yet) so I've got to make it easier where I can. (Because "out of hand" doesn't even begin to describe how crazy my life is about to be. But more on that later.)




Today I want to talk about something I don't normally talk about: love. All of my family and close friends just read that and said "what?" They know I'm the last person they would find talking about things like "feelings" and "emotions." I'm your classic cynic when it comes to relationships. Soul mates? Love at first sight? Being faithful to one person for the rest of your life? These things have never made sense to me. It could be the numerous unfaithful boyfriends and assholes in general. Perhaps it's that my parents split up when I was much younger. (Well, not that much. I'm only twenty seven people.) Most likely it's a little bit of all of the above.
Don't get me wrong, I love a good happy ending. But those are just in books and movies, right? Finding that one person who knows you as well as you know yourself? No way. How could anyone get me better than I do?
Is it really possible that there is one person out there who could make me think and feel things in a way that I never have before? Someone who can make me smile just because they're next to me? A person that can make any bad mood go away just by being there to listen to my dramatic nonsense? Are you telling me that there is actually one amazing individual who not only can, but will put my wants and needs above his own because that's just how much he cares? You mean there is a grown ass man who can set me on fire from the inside out with just one look? And on top of all of these little things that make him a whole, it just so happens that everything I feel is just a mirror to what he feels?
That's a lot of questions. It's a lot of thoughts and a lot of feelings. And do you know what I think the answer is?
Yes.
I think the answer is yes... all day, every day, from here until there is nothing left.
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