SHUT UP N SMILE.

Everybody wants to hear something. Something they'll like, something to be intrigued with, something to keep them secure. And Words are all there is. But is it a problem? Yes, if you are me, if you take them seriously. In every phase of my life, apart from the picture slideshow and few videos and dream-like memories, most of all that i remember are words. And as those "phases" passed by, I knew they didn't mean much. More years later, I know they didn't mean anything. So its difficult to be sold out on words anymore. They are just words. What you feel today wont be what you feel tomorrow. But why is it that our life is shaped a special way, to make us go through this and that and later we only learn to appreciate the terrible times for making us stronger, like realizing truths behind this world. The meaning of existence. Does it mean anything atall? Guess not.
So why is it that instead of doing the things I should be doing in this mortal life, I am in search of some divine presence of reality in my life. Most of the days I would never accept the above sentence but tonight I want to be a little open and honest with myself.
Shabana Sultana.
The girl who loves herself so much.
Let down only by the presence of unwanted shit.
Why could she not change in the many years she hoped would change her.
Criticism is such a thing. When you criticise the ways of life, it will haunt you till you are engulfed in them. Your morals wont change but your situations will.
So maybe I am not meant for this life of lies.
Coz I know its all lies. It is never different.
There is nothing to look back at. Only to look forward. Coz I have looked back a million times and looked forward a million more. Though tomorrow is never as its planned, it'll come, Insha Allah. Will it bring happiness? Dont think so.
So should I just find my ground? Been flying too long? But it will kill me to be on ground. One among those stepping things.
Funny thing is, despite it all I never change.
I dont want no words coz their presence is suspicious. I just wish to smile.