My greatest fear-#blogtober14

I’ve always had a lot of fears. I’m afraid of spiders and bugs. When we went to the zoo when I was little I wouldn’t even walk through the snake exhibit because just seeing them freaks me out.

I don’t like scary movies or haunted houses. I get so creeped out and don’t see the fun in that stuff. So while I thought that I understood fear and what it was like to be afraid, I didn’t really understand. I don’t think until you are a parent you really truly get fear. The fear of something happening to your child.

This quote really sums it up. Having my daughter I am in an almost constant state of fear. The world is a dangerous place and there isn’t much I can do about it and she is out there in it away from me most of the time and there isn’t much I can do to protect her. When the Sandy hook school shooting happened even though we live so far from where it happened I felt crippled by fear. I just sat outside her school in my car for like an hour before school got out just because I wanted to be near where she was because the thought of something like that happening was so terrifying I could barely handle it.

So losing her, my greatest love is the biggest fear I have and probably always will be.