Unpopular Opinion
Recently I came across an excellent forum discussion on unpopular opinions (on a man blog so I didn’t chip in because if I’ve learned one single wise thing in my life, it’s that the menz appreciate their space) and I immediately thought of about five million things I regularly think that possibly might be objectionable. Here are some:
The Random Category!
# You know how I know you’re gay? There isn’t a single homophobe that wouldn’t love to take a dick in the ass. Every time you call someone a faggot and say something abusive about gay people, you’re just confirming the suspicions of everyone around you that you would literally lick your own shit off a dude’s wang if only you felt ok with yourself.
# Coachella is a corporate suckfest and anyone who attends is a total asshole. If I have to see one more bunch of 16 year olds all over the news, wasted on one lite beer, I’ll projectile vom. Also, people rave about Coachella ‘style’ being the height of fashion, but these kids look like they all rented a hackneyed old 70’s costume from their local fancy dress store. Original style, it ain’t. There’s no style of ‘now’ and we’re so unoriginal we keep serving up lukewarm leftovers from previous eras. It’s soooo tired. I say let’s all start wearing metallic robot suits like they predicted for us on Star Trek.
There’s never a good excuse to wear this sort of shit in public.
# Losing weight? Not hard. It can be terrifically easy to gain weight. It’s also relatively easy to lose it. Stop eating so much. Stop lying to yourself about how much you do eat. Get some exercise. Also, stop pretending: you don’t like yourself how you are, and everyone would choose slimness over fattitude. Obesity is categorically *never* healthier than thinness, even if the thin person used for comparison is a 40-a-day, alcoholic.
Children:
# Kids? Yawn. Honestly, other people’s are mostly boring and a nuisance with the odd ‘cool’ exception where you see a child who you wouldn’t mind terribly if you’d made it. Parenting is the hardest thing anyone EVER does because we’re all selfish bastards and doing it well requires you to get over yourself, which people don’t generally succeed in doing. The next generation are fucked.
# Planning a family of six? The only people I know who I consider well adjusted are only children or one of two. My advice, have one and see how it goes. Or maybe love the one you’ve got. Better one well raised child than a horde of dirty superbrats like the ones I saw today at the busstop, playing chicken with the traffic while their mother yakked on her phone and pretended she didn’t know them.
Nope. I still don’t find you cute.
Manosphere:
# Like some whine with that cheese? You guys act like you hate all women, but you’re really just mad because we don’t agree to have sex with every single one of you who asks us. Which is fairly often if you aren’t fat or a bitch, and even then some dudes be ‘mirin! You have no idea what it’s like getting perved on all the time, no wonder we seem cranky and just go for the alphas.
# Thirsty dudes Men who routinely compliment women either on FB or IRL because they think it gives them an ‘in’, please stop: you’re turning average chicks into monsters, creating a big-headed, stuck-up betch who’s annoying the shit out of everyone.
# Misogynists Plus, you guys act like it’s hilarious to shame fat women, but there are just as many fat men who look equally terrible and are a suck on healthcare systems. Yes, fat acceptance needs to die, and yes it is largely their own gluttony apart from the few ones who genuinely can’t help it. This is the only instance in which I actually think you guys are pure misogynists. (cue chorus of ‘we never said we weren’t misogynists’… yeah, yeah, yeah…)
# Poosy Paradise Finally, many of you have been led to believe that Eastern European women are superior to Western ones. To which I, who lives in Europe and knows so many Eastern European chicks says: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA… etc. They’re human, i.e. can be shrewish or delightful in equal proportions, and in many cases tend to be either hardline feminists or dogmatic religious types. Some of them I know behave really, really badly to their men! I also know several feminists (not EE) who are soft and sweet. Your polarisation of the characteristics of one group as ‘good’ and the other as ‘bad’ says more about you than it does about women.
Femosphere:
# Fat ladies dating It’s shitty to misrepresent yourself as a normal size person on internet dating sites, then show up to a date 50 lbs larger and be outraged that the guy climbs out the toilet window at the first opportunity. You have no right whatsoever to complain about him. I applaud that man.
Domesticity:
# Dinner fucking parties Although I can cook, I would rather get kicked hard in the crotch than host a dinner party: better to go to someone else’s place so you get to relax instead of cooking a bunch of stuff and getting left out of all the good bits, like getting quietly sloshed in a corner while waiting till it’s home time. (Barbecues are the exception, since then the men tend to take over the cooking, and all you have to do is furnish the ‘sides’.)
# Women who want to stay home as a lifestyle choice! That’s all well and good but I don’t know one single guy out there under forty who’d be happy to ‘sub’ his lazy ass wife because she fancied being a SAHM as a lifestyle choice. These days both of you have to earn just to pay the bills and choosing to stay at home means you place the cost of your existence and ten thousand pounds of pressure on your man. Plus, he who pays the bills, calls the shots. Also you will have NOTHING INTERESTING to talk about.
Bloggers:
# Fashion bloggers are the devil Largely because they encourage rampant, thoughtless consumerism, which at the end of the day, is raping the planet. The world is going to hell in a handbasket, whatever that is. We are fucked and NONE OF US CARE.
# Moms who post pictures of their babies on the internet! You are a shitty parent who has no respect for your child, and no idea of appropriate boundaries. Please immediately take all photos of your children down off the public internetz, or I will assume you think it’s ok that you make your baby a target for weirdos/pedos.
