BITTER SWEET



It's hard to trust people nowadays but I'd still rather choose to give it to people and be disappointed after (in case the friendship didn't work) because that's how life goes than missing out the good people because I was scared of hurting.
Today was as bitter sweet as the green tea ice cream I'm eating. I bid good bye to the people I spent my 2014 with not because they betrayed me or anything, it's just time to leave. They didn't disappoint me at all, actually they are one of the best people I've ever met.

Determinism Vs Free Will

Determinism means that every event or state of affairs, including every human decision and action, is the inevitable and necessary consequence of antecedent states of affairs. (Source)

Free Will is the power to act without constraint of necessity or fate, the ability to act at one's own discretion

If determinism is true, it just means that everything we do in our life is already pre-determined. For example, our friends, we meet them because it was already written in the stars. Destiny or fate.

If free will is true, it means that we made friends because we want them to be friends. We chose them.

So what's my point? Satchiko, my friend, requested me to write a post about the quote I've written above. "Having trust issues." My question is, is it already pre-determined that there would be friends who will betray us? Or is their choice to do so? Determinism or free will? What do you think?

Dumbledore's answer: "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

Thus, free will? But isn't it pre-determined that every human being is flawed and bound to do both good and bad?

The answer is up to you. For me, whenever I'm a friend of someone, I always choose to understand and to give. I'd try to understand them even if they aren't the person I expected them to be. I'd try to give what I get without expecting to receive the similar affection that I gave.

If you expect that that "person you have tamed" (term borrowed from The Little Prince) or layman's terms, your friend should care for you the same way you did, that's objectifying the person. Friendship for me isn't "treat me well because you owe me" but "through thick and thin, let's be there for each other."

Although sometimes, there are friendships that our bound to an end not because you want to but it has became out of hand. I had a friend in high school who've I loved dearly. She's smart, funny, pretty and everything nice except she's insecure. Most of the time she would compare herself to me, who's prettier? who's smarter? who's got more admirers? who's more loved? "can you do my journals because you're better at writing? At first I thought maybe I was doing it all wrong? Maybe these are pre-determined events because she thinks I have everything that she might wanted. Until it happened over and over again that one day, I believed her.. I felt bad about myself. It became so toxic that I lost my own light.. It took time before I've finally accepted that I have to cut her off. You can't just throw away people. But I felt like trash when I'm with her? Now that we aren't friends anymore, I've learned that there are relationships you need to let go not because you don't care for them but because you care for them so much and the only way to for them to learn, is to leave.

I guess that friendship tainted me that whenever I have new friends that are trying to compete with me for unknown reasons, I would back off. But that lesson has also saved me from repeated experiences. Now I know where people should draw their line, I know when to hold on and I know when to just let go.

This post is requested by Satchi
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