Hashtag Blessed in Combat Boots

I met with my Girls Write Now mentee on Sunday.

She has a Scholastic essay competition that we’re getting ready for. We decided to combine two of our first prompts together to create a short story.

When we were paired together at the start of the school year, I had already unemployed for a month. I wondered what I could add to her life. I know that I don’t need a title somewhere to be able to but I wanted to be good at something for her. I hoped she would still be able to learn from me.

Our first session together, we wrote for 10 minutes about why we write. Her answers were poetic, she loves the way ink smells on fresh pages, the way her fingers sound on the keyboard. Mine were desperate. I write because I have yet to see a story that I can identify with as my own. I want to chronicle my experiences.

We both agreed that we write to express ourselves. The good and the bad.

I want to thank you all for being so supportive. I am beyond grateful. It was really hard for me to admit that I lost my job publicly—and online at that.

Off line, while I wouldn’t say that I’m as prideful as I was when I was younger, it rears its ugly head sometimes. I would really rather go without than to ask for help. Which is childish and foolish, I know, but I’m adult enough to admit it. And I’m working on it.

New York is a place where people ask you what you do before your name. Everything is tied to what you can do for someone else. It isn’t right, but it happens.

Editor’s Note: Random aside, I just read this really interesting article about why you should introduce your friends not by their job descriptions but something about their personality, so they feel value as a person. Makes sense, right?

Anyway, so for me to admit that I lost my job without feeling like a failure, I would say is major progress for me. I just want to say thank you. I appreciate the comments, tweets and emails. Y’all are the best and I’m proud of what happens on this site.

You all have been so uplifting and positive. I feel blessed to have you. All of you. You know what I love about you all? How you all mention your faith without being preachy. I hadn’t been praying. I think it was starting to show.

A lot of you have been here since the beginning and remember how bad my writing used to be, or how basic my outfits were. I’m not saying I have it all figured out now, but I can appreciate the fact that this site is a way to chart my growth.

And it isn’t just you. It’s everyone. I am very appreciative of the friends who check on me, offer to feed me, get me out of my apartment. I’m thankful of the PR people who haven’t taken me off of their media lists. Old co-workers who send me job listings. Having friends who will write out prayers and email them to you before interviews.

I feel extremely blessed. I’ll be forever grateful.

I don’t really know how I’m going to pay all this forward but I am going to do my best. And if the meantime, I am going to handle this the best way I know how: make a joke, crack a smile and keep it pushing.

Wearing: Zara Biker Jacket// Rachel Rachel Roy Dress// American Apparel Over the Knee Socks// Ugg Combat Boots// Gifted Old Navy Scarf// Marc by Marc Jacobs Fran Tote// Burts Bees Lip Crayon in Napa Vineyard

But best believe I’m going to write it all.

Oh, and congrats AshB! You won the Beyond the Lights tickets!

p.s. It’s hard not to feel good about life when you’re kicking around leaves like a little kid.

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