Inspire Yourself

Those were the words Esposo told me when I called him for what I thought would be a quick chat. What it turned into was a mini meltdown on my behalf. Excuse me while I turn this beauty blog into a venting public diary. You don’t mind, do you? You see…I’ve been going through thangs. Is it because I’ll be turning 30 and I feel like I should kinda sorta have my life in order? Is it because I want to love what I do while making money (which apparently is very rare)? Is it because I am realizing that I’m not okay with living the life that many Americans live and…hate? Okay, I know I’m being vague but roll with me.

I want happiness. I want money because money provides opportunity and experiences and…chances. Lately I’ve been getting discouraged in thinking I’ll have to work bOOOOooooring jobs that may pay well but that don’t touch anything. Or anyone. Deep down inside I know I was put here on this Earth to help people. Beyond giving them mascara recommendations, ya know? I’m not made to work in cubicles for companies for 40 hours a week, every week. That’s not my calling. Neither is being a stay at home mom. Could I do it? Absolutely. Do I want to? No.

I’ve spent my 20’s feeling lost and not knowing what I wanted and where I’m going. I can’t exactly pinppoint exactly what I want now but I know what I don’t want and I feel like it’s time to refine some things. And I don’t know how. It will require many prayers and some soul searching. I know I’ll get there but this is just a rough patch that I’m going through.

I may blog about it which may turn some of you off. Which I totally understand because you came here to talk about makeup. Not about the woes of a 29-year old. Am I right? But something is telling me that it’s okay to share a little. So…I’ll share.

But, in the meantime I’m going to inspire myself. And you should, too. Surely there were moments and times in your life that you thought you’d never get through. But you did. Here I am looking for inspiration when I have my own past experiences to glance at. So yeah, girlfriend. Inspire yo’self!!

Talk soon.

XOXO,
B