March Fabness 2015, Round 1: Gucci Bracket
Michelle in Dolce & Gabbana; Olivia in Valentino
Michelle: Really? Already? We’re not even going to warm up to that?
Olivia: I’m sure you’ll be nice and warm, spending eternity in hell for crimes against fashion.
Michelle in Elie Saab; Olivia in Diane von Furstenberg
Michelle: Whatever. Like you can even pull off that shade of yellow.
Olivia: I’ll have you know that Aaron Sorkin told me I looked “just feminine enough to not be threatening” in this gown.
Michelle in Giambattista Valli; Olivia in J. Mendel
Michelle: I’d normally be inclined to call bullshit, but you know, that really does sound like something he would say.
Olivia: Now you know why I always have this forced smile on my face.
KIERNAN SHIPKA vs. GUGU MBATHA-RAW
Kiernan in Preen; Gugu in Jenny Packham
Kiernan: omg hi ur hair is on fleek #marchfabness #datdresstho
Gugu: I have no idea what you just said to me.
Kiernan in Nina Ricci; Gugu in Lanvin
Kiernan: Sorry, was that not believable? I’m going method for my next role as a modern-day fifteen-year-old, but I don’t think I sound right.
Gugu: But… aren’t you actually a modern-day fifteen-year-old? Like, in real life?
Kiernan in Marni; Gugu in Delpozo
Kiernan: No. I’m 75 years old. I just have that Benjamin Button disease.
Gugu: Seriously?
Kiernan in Oscar de la Renta; Gugu in Lanvin
Kiernan: Um, duh. No one can develop such a sophisticated style when they’ve only been on this planet for fifteen years.
Gugu: It all makes sense now.
KERRY WASHINGTON vs. SIENNA MILLER
Kerry in Sportmax; Sienna in Kate Moss for Topshop
Kerry: Alright, I’m ready. Bring it on, bitch. I am the scandal.
Sienna: Whoa. Chill out, lady. Let’s just smoke a quick joint and relax.
Kerry in Dolce & Gabbana; Sienna in Erdem
Kerry: What? No. Olivia Pope is dancing… ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING GRAVE.
Sienna: Why? What did I ever do to you?
Kerry in Prabal Gurung; Sienna in Burberry
Kerry: Nothing. I just don’t like you or your Girl, Interrupted hair.
Sienna: Whatever. Go make some jam.
Kerry in Zuhair Murad; Sienna in Miu Miu
Kerry: I will JAM my elbow into your face!
Sienna: Your puns are getting exhausting. I’m out.
MARION COTILLARD vs. KIRSTEN DUNST
Marion in Dior; Kirsten in Miu Miu
Marion: Bonjour, Kirsten. Welcome to my competition.
Kirsten: Your competition?
Marion in Dior; Kirsten in Vivienne Westwood
Marion: Oui, my dear. I’m fucking French and all I wear is Dior. Who can possibly beat zat?
Kirsten: Your wardrobe is not that impressive, and I’m pretty sure your accent is fake.
Marion in Dior; Kirsten in Chanel
Marion: ‘OW DARE YOU! I was born in Paree! I am more French zan … zan…
Kirsten: You can’t even name a fucking French person, can you?
