I Want My Daughter To Be: A New Look At “Raising Her Right”

I am embarking on a new series that strikes a very significant chord within me. On August 3, 2013, I gave birth to the most amazing bundle of cosmic energy to grace this world (in my humble, mother-proud opinion). And since then, I have been forever changed. I make decisions differently, I plan my day differently, I prioritize my life differently, all because of her.

And while I’m doing all of the re-prioritizing, re-organizing, and re-planning, I am conscious of the fact that every thing I do, every step I make, will have some impact on her (no pressure, though). In analyzing myself and our life under this lens, I see both the things we do fabulously well (emphasize the importance of curiosity, inspire a love of reading, value generosity and giving back to the community, expose our peanut to art in all its forms), there are also several categories where I find myself (because I am only going to speak for myself, here) lacking. And there are traits and values I want to instill within my daughter, but understand I can only do so if I embody them myself.

Because that old saying, “Do as I say not as I do” never works. Inevitably, our actions are what guide out little ones. And while words have meaning and weight, they do not always make the impression intended if they are not backed up by an action.

So, I figure, while she’s this young, and I have some wiggle room, I can begin a bit of a “self self-improvement” workshop. Wherein I identify a variety of habits– from those nagging parts of myself (punctuality-challenged, barely ever exercise, spend far too much of the day on the Interwebz), to those skills I envy (baking the perfect cookie, learning how to mend a hole, finishing the Sunday crossword), to the grander issues in life (faith in God, body confidence, self-reliance)– and work to improve them. It’ll be part research, part self-help, part meditation, and part “finally living up to my New Year’s resolutions.” My goal at the end of it all is to project the better parts of myself, and set a pattern that will help my own daughter find her way in this wild world.

Hope you’re willing to take the journey with me!