A Fetish of a Complex

I have been following The Sartorialist for years but have just recently found Garance Dore’s blog (wife of Scott Schuman ) and can safely say it has become a daily ritual to check for her latest updates. Her blog offers such a scrumptious offering of beauty, fashion, lifestyle and culture to ensure you are glued to the screen for hours. Her article ‘Complex’ , posted a couple of days ago, I found so true with my own experiences that I thought I would explore it a bit more – looking at complexes triggered by friends. It just so happens that I watched an episode of Sex and the City today (Season 3 Episode 3 to be precise) that touched on just this problem. Do we compare ourselves so much to our friends that not only do we adopt their insecurities but make even more of our own?

My own complex began when I started comparing myself to other girls and seeing what they had and I wanted – which I think (hope) is the same for many girls. When you’re young you will do anything to ensure you have the same as the majority of your classmates. For me this was 1. at least one item of clothing from Abercrombie & Fitch 2. a bag from Paul’s Boutique (just shameful that one) and 3. which I escaped just in time – the Mulberry Bag. These are all very innocent fetishisms just as recognisable in boys as they are in girls – except they all have to have the latest PS3..or PS4 game not a bag! Now much older I will do anything to avoid being the same as anyone else, it horrifies me that some girls still seek the security of having what everyone else has. I think this is what can be so misleading about fashion trends, rather than being a copycat why not take the trend and add an original twist of your own?

There is a more worrying complex that is heavily influenced by friends and in my experience it is the BODY. I have always had a fairly lean figure not boyish but not overly curvy either. I know now what is bad for it and what I have to do to keep it the way it is. As a young teenager I had no body issues until friends started comparing themselves to me and I to them. One of my close friends wanted larger boobs, being a similar size to her at the time I didn’t really understand it, because I was perfectly happy. This same friend also wanted as little hair as possible on her body and to be tanned not just in the summer season. Soon her fetishes became mine and only over the last two years have I begun to ignore what everyone else wants. I spent a whole week in Zakynthos, Greece, and I am proud to say I left the same colour as when I arrived. No premature wrinkles for me thanks ladies! It is in the summer when we become most insecure. As girls we compare the size of our thighs and waists while secretly noting who looks best in their bikini. We can do as much exercise as we can manage and eat as healthily as we want to be who we want, but it is very likely that by the end of it all there will be another fetish for another complex to deal with.

FX