The courts cannot take my voice away

When does the desire to win at all costs go away for someone who is used to getting his way?

I love this little blog of mine. I really do. I began this blog when I met my husband, Brandon. For the first time I saw someone who loved me for me and the rush of emotions were dancing me like a 4 year old at a dance recital. Ups and downs and fears and confusion ran through me.

I’ve come to this blog to write. For me. To open my heart and soul by clicking the keys of a keyboard and pouring my fear, hurt, love and growth onto the pages of this blog. It’s been healing for me. It’s been a listening friend in the dark of night when I had no one to talk to. It’s been a place where kind and loving people have shared their stories and we have learned about the similarities between their paths and mine.

This little blog is now at the center of a court battle, because someone doesn’t like what I write about. Someone doesn’t like that after all of these years I’ve finally found my voice. And that voice is strong. I didn’t have a voice for so, so long, and now I do. He can’t shame me or scare me into my corner where I did not grow or shine or heal. He can’t raise his voice and make the air around me dense and heavy with his glares. He can’t control me anymore. And it bothers him.

I am in love with myself now. Truly and deeply. I don’t need the approval of anyone. I write the truth and I write from my soul and my heart is open. Because he was part of my life for so many years, we are intertwined. His story is part of mine, but it’s not all of my story. I pray he heals and can let me go, but this court battle tells me he cannot.

I cannot say goodbye to my voice, as much as he’s trying to silence it. I won’t do it. The judge may tell me to let this blog go, and if she does, I will. But I will never be silenced again. Because living in the light and in the truth is where love helps you grow.

Keep writing. I will. Keep healing. I am. The support we all feel through sharing our words is what has helped me get this far. And I’m so thankful you’ve helped me find my voice.