Sharing your story and living with purpose

There was a time in my life where the only purpose I knew was keeping my family happy. The years and years of being a “yes girl” added up to one big blur of a human being who oftentimes gave up her own happiness so as not to rock the boat.

Passions within me died. Hobbies forgotten. I didn’t even recognize my own voice, because I heard my mother’s or husband’s voice in my head and regurgitated their opinions and ideas. That is not living with a purpose, whatsoever.

Writing here is my voice. It is my truth. The truth that I never shared before for fear of being yelled at or ignored. Or, heaven forbid, disappointing someone.

My purpose is living my story. And I choose to share that story. That story involves being abused, being manipulated, feeling guilty all the time, and one day learning that all of those things lead to me being strong, confident, and finding myself. The result? I have deeper friendships, an authentic relationship, and I have pride in who I am and own my journey.

I’ve read so many stories of people’s struggles, healing and faith. Writing the TRUTH about your life is a scary thing. To put it down on paper or in an online form makes it real. No one knew that as a child I was mistreated by someone and it changed me forever. They only saw me being a good student and a busy pre-teen. I stayed quiet until I found my voice at 40.

My family had no idea of some of the struggles I had with my first husband, because I kept them secret. I wanted to protect him and didn’t want people knowing he could sometimes say mean things, yell, or be so controlling and jealous that I changed who I was.

But ya know what? They saw the small signs. They could tell I had changed. My older brother saw me at my first Thanksgiving after the divorce and I was playing and giggling loudly with the kids and he said to me, “Finally. You’re back. After 20 years!” That hit hard on me. Had I really changed that much?

I have no need to hide anything anymore. I live my life with purpose. I share this story so others learn that through pain you can find the other side. You can learn so much about yourself and the people in your life when you live with purpose.

Take it from a woman who was afraid to speak with her own voice. You must learn to stand up for yourself. You must find who you are inside and share the real you. When you do that, and share your light, genuine people find you. Opportunities find you. The world opens up to you because you live your purpose.

Keep sharing your story. Don’t be afraid. It’s the first step to owning the truth and being happy.