I Melt With You

Q: What to put on your mix tape, if you can’t trust your brothers to be just wingmen and not cut in? (Which is the case, about 99.2% of the time.)

A: This. QED.

There is magic to be had when you and a little sister/friend of the fraternity lock eyes and sing the “never second best” line at each other at a party. Magic like:

• won’t you walk me back to my dorm?
• won’t you come up to my room?
• won’t you take off your coat and stay?

Predictably, your answers are “sure,” “ok,” and “uh, I gotta run.” Of course the last one, because this cannot be real. You’re not actually welcome, right? She doesn’t really want you to stay, right? This is not genuinely happening, right?

Come on, what’s the joke?

Karma: You, studboy?

So yeah, another trophy night for you, Biff. Enjoy the walk of shame home.

All growed up