Beardo Wierdos are US

I am currently reading a chick lit book called Little Lady, Big Apple in which the heroine is dating an American hunk called Jonathan who like every American male in a book written by a British author (in this case Hester Browne):


- has John F Kennedy massive wavy hair

- has enormous straight teeth like Chicklets

- always wears impeccably tailored chinos or a suit and is styled like someone out of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

- has a waxed chest

- has abs of steel

- has a golden tan but no skin cancer

- trims his nasal hair

- uses a lot of mousse on his hair

- but is not gay


HELLO??? Where are these guys in the real world outside Soap Operas? The only impeccably turned out American guys I have met here have been lawyers or bankers. Most men do not put styling mousse on their heads and while their teeth are straighter than the average UK guy they don't all have glow in the dark teeth.


Believe it or not some men - even men on TV - don't have super straight teeth (like Anthony Bourdain). And even though he has to don a suit for the TV show 'The Taste' he usually looks like something the cat dragged in (but in a good way)



Anthony Bourdain without 5 hrs in hair and makeup

Can I just point out that for the younger generation of American men we are in the in the grips of a beard epidemic like never before.

I'm not sure why, but American men are sporting beards in droves. Even though some of these men really shouldn't be sprouting beards because they are growing in patchy clumps

They're also sporting skinny jeans. Yes skinny jeans with beards. That is the look of the typical American male. I bet some of them are going 'au naturelle' all the way and refusing to wear the giant braces that every American teen seems to wear.

But do you ever see this more shabby US male reflected in romantic literature written by British authors? Like heck you do.

It is always a character called Brad or Chuck with a mega-watt smile and tons of dosh who uses more hair mousse than the lady in his life. If he has chest hair it has probablly been waxed.

Believe me this man does not wear hair mousse

It's time to stop the lies!

While it is true that Americans in general have superior personal hygiene to Brits, I can also say that it is time that the real Amerian male be pictured in chick lit in all his glory.

I mean come on, even Brad Pitt has a beard and he can afford to have someone shave him every day.

So if you're a British author writing about an American hunk remember the younguns are trying to emulate us Brits these days. And since tanning is out these days consider giving your hero a pale-skinned shrunken chest, no muscle definition to speak of, crooked teeth, lank greasy hair and a misshapen beard. It's the look many of the hipsters here are aiming for.

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