Random Thoughts


- How come I can dress my baby in mismatched patterns, funky knit hats, pants that are too short, sweaters that are too big and covered in banana stains, and it all just makes her look more adorable? Yet, when I dress this way, people think, "Oh, she must be homeless. Avoid eye contact." Vivi and the Olsen twins...the only people on the planet who can pull off baby hobo chic.

- There was a flashback sequence to 2004 on The Mindy Project last night in which she poked fun of her bootcut jeans and cowl neck sweater. Funny except that it's 2015, and I still wear bootcut jeans and cowl neck sweaters. What's a pear-shaped gal to do?
I think low-rise bootcut jeans with bedazzled back pockets are the mom jeans of our generation. Someday the girls will be all, "God mom! Why can't you wear high-rise, acid-washed jeans like the cool moms?! You're not even wearing boots and we can see your granny panties!" And I'll shoot back, "Those other moms are just trying to hide their tribal inspired tramp stamps! Bet you're glad I didn't fall for that one in 2004!"
- They talked about time-outs at Maddie's school the other day, and when it was her turn to share, she claimed she didn't receive any form of punishment at home ever. Then I realized she hadn't had a time-out in a long time...maybe too long. So, I brought her home, and the first chance I got, I gave her a time-out. I felt like a better parent, and she seemed happy to have something in common with her friends. Win-win.
- A Market Basket employee criticized the number of chicken fingers I ordered at their store last week. I don't wanna talk about it. I already vented my rage on Facebook. I'm taking this as a sign that maybe I shouldn't spend my days guzzling coffee between snacking on carbs and chocolate. But, dammit, I really hate squats.
- I want to teach Maddie that my phone serves a purpose other than watching videos of dancing gummy bears. It would be nice to know that if I pass out from too many squats that somebody could call 911. I have no idea how to teach her to dial 911 on an iPhone without actually dialling 911. Also, I don't think she knows what a 9 looks like. They practiced this at school one day, but when I quizzed her later she was trying to dial 117, which doesn't do anyone any good.











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