You Listen Like Your Father

She has her father’s eyes. They share the same award winning smile & that one perfect dimple that melts my heart. They both love popcorn, Doritos & think that farts are funny. One other trait that they share is their uncanny ability to tune me right out.

“Mai, pick up your toys.”

Crickets chirp

“Mai, did you hear mama?”

Chirp chirp, chirp chirp

I know she gets this from my husband. He does not tune me out intentionally. Perhaps I am actually a mute. Maybe, my house has some kind of voice sucking force field around it & I am the only one affected.

“Honey, I laid out clothes for Mai. There is a pink dress & leggings on her chair in her room.”

Several minutes pass…

“What should I dress Mai in today?”

“I just told you about 5 minutes ago.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Hello? Can anyone hear me? Pink Floyd’s lyrics somehow haunt me all day long.

Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying. ♫

I have invested minutes into stories before realizing that he had not heard a word that I had just spoken to him.

“Did you hear me? What did I just say?”

“Something about toilet paper???”

If the game is on TV, I do not stand a chance. Perhaps if I did a naked headstand in front of the telly while telling knock knock jokes, I might get a response.
“Honey, could you put your feet down. The Patriots have the ball.”

“Knock Knock”

Nobody’s there..

Recently we were out to dinner & he was watching football over my shoulder as I was talking. I asked him..

“Are you really watching the game rather than looking at me?”

“I can’t look at you. Your beauty is intoxicating & I have to drive home.”

He does have a good point there. How can I argue with that logic?