I Was Here by Gayle Forman; a book review (no spoilers)

One may think with the similar title, that this is a continuation of the hard story of Mia, from the If I Stay and Where She Went series (the first being made into a feature film starring Chloe Grace Moretz last year) but I Was Here is a new stand alone title that tackles just as heavy a topic as death in the aforementioned books. Youth suicide.

Gayle Forman really doesn’t hold back or take it easy on the emotions of the reader, whether they be in the age range of the protagonists, or if it be someone older that understands losing someone without ‘closure’. (Is there really closure though? I feel as if this is the larger question that lingered with me here)

The book begins with the email being received which is Meg’s death note. Cody finds out that her best friend Meg, her partner in crime has ingested industrial strength cleaning fluids to end her life, with enough time to send out emails saying that she made her choice, and that she loved them.

With a note or without; it leaves family and friends in shock wondering what could have been done to prevent it. More phone calls? More quality time? How could this be missed? How could someone so young die in such a horrific way, let alone at her own hand?

To go too much further into plot details will ruin the way in which Gayle Forman excels in writing about grief; and how everyone experiences it differently. There is no absolute textbook way of dealing with it, and Forman doesn’t present a sugary visage of grief and mourning. If anything, a few times throughout, I did have to put the book down, and felt it was almost.. triggering. I think anyone that has lost someone may relate to this book (and in my opinion moreso than If I Stay). I needed a good few breaks just so I can take a breather. (Check out my GoodReads to see the pauses I had to take in reading it)

That’s a great thing and speaks to the strength of the emotion in the prose.

Cody’s journey in tracing through Meg’s last few weeks or emotional state of mind isn’t easy, and her college room-mates don’t make it easy, nor does Cody let her guard down. She was an absolute gem to read because she wasn’t a damsel, she was that girl who wanted to be strong for her parents, and who at the same time wanted to just get some answers.

This is a hard read, but with sweet moments; shared between her and Meg’s little brother; wiser beyond his years and the parents that Cody wished were her own. In reading about Meg and Cody’s friendship through flashbacks; I feel as a reader you get drawn into the ‘why, the how?’ and I can’t say that by the book’s conclusion, you can be satisfied. After all, in life; death itself isn’t the final act. Its all about the life lived in the wake of such an event.

(Talk about a philosophical book review!)

Please note this book was sent in ARC format, for review ahead of its February 1st release.