For the Love of Chocolate
I once had a reader ask a question that I quickly dismisssed, thinking it too taboo to address on the blog. I’ve since become less inhibited, so I will now share my thoughts thusly. Also, I’m pretty sure my readership is down to the single digits, so my perceived risk of vulnerability and judgement is much reduced. (These are the things a blogger worries about when preparing to exposit her personal world views to the interwebs.)
Q: How do you keep from gaining weight during your, you know… girly time?
Only the reader didn’t say “girly time,” and it wasn’t italicized. Unlike me, my reader wasn’t a squeamish, slightly prude seventh-grader at heart. But it takes all kinds to make the world go ’round.
A: I don’t even know. Gimme chocolate. Seriously, do you have chocolate? I need it now. RIGHT now.
Honestly, I’ve come to the conclusion that we, as women, are just slated to have one week every month or so where everything goes hideously wrong (and by that I mean, like, someone takes a pen off your desk and the rest of your day dissolves into a personal tragedy) and weight fluctuation is inevitable (and by that I mean maybe you’re able to sort of keep it together and you do just fine and lose half a pound, or, alternatively you collapse into sniveling mess, completely inconsolable excepting by massive quantities of chocolate and you gain three pounds and call it water weight).
The key to navigating through this difficult time is a little trick I like to call “scale avoidance.” Yeah, see, you can’t gain weight if you don’t know about it. So just steer around that little piece of hell every morning until life is normal again and then and ONLY then, with great trepidation, after using the bathroom and exhaling all oxygen, step quickly on the scale. If you accidentally breathe in, just step off the scale and reset it. You don’t want to be carrying anything extra on you when you venture back into reality. Trust me on this one.
Reader, I’d like to tell you that my positive she-conqueror attitude gets me through this predicament. That I’ve mastered the skill of mind over matter and perseverance and that my healthiness journey means more to me than anything else and that there is no temptation so great that it overshadows my desire to be successful.
I have learned however, that the great words of somebody who spoke them at some point in time are remarkably true: To err is human. In this case, to err is to eat a Hershey bar. Or three. You only live once.
There are days for being perfect and winning the dieter’s gold star. And then, there are days when you have a good long cry for no justifiable reason, sincerely thank God that you live in a country where Ghirardelli brownie mix can be purchased at a store near you, and then move on.
To Thursdays and cocoa beans and the end of of this week,
Original article: For the Love of Chocolate
©2013 Prior Fat Girl. All Rights Reserved.
