Stop asking me to eat. JUST STOP!!!

I know people mean well, and they just want me to join in the fun, to share good things with me. But they don’t understand.

I tried to explain about gestational diabetes, or diabetes in general. But they think it’s all just about weight. And so it shouldn’t matter much because chubby babies are cute.

I wish it is just about the weight.

But no. A quick fetal weight gain is simply an indication that baby is probably exposed to higher than normal maternal blood sugar levels. Which subjects baby to associated risks (no matter how low) like being born pre-term (which brings on a whole lot other risks) or hypoglycemic, and increases the risk for me to have high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia, which in worst cases may result in fetal death. Go read-up on it if you don’t believe me. My point is it’s not just about the weight.

True I’ve been controlling my diet pretty well but the past couple of weeks I had tried having some variations during snack time – variations that include more oily and calorie-rich food than I should be having. And last Tuesday’s check-up showed that baby had gained weight too quickly over the past three weeks: she gained almost a kg even though overall I only gained 0.4kg. So I’m worried.

If it’s just about me, if I’m not pregnant and simply diabetic, I wouldn’t mind these occasional treats. I won’t care, really. So long as I’m eating well most of the time and exercising regularly, occasional treats are fine.

But no. I’m responsible for another life. Whose fault is it that she gets exposed to high blood sugar levels? Whose fault will it be if anything happens to her? Mine. ALL MINE.

So please, if I have said no once, I wish they’ll just stop offering again and again and again. I don’t need fried food. I don’t need anything no matter how good it tastes. Food is just food. I can eat those things another time, after my pregnancy, when everything is well again. Why does it matter so much that I have to eat them NOW, TODAY??? Why must I have oh just a single bite of this or that? Just to please them? Because it doesn’t please me. So people don’t feel bad because it seems like I’m left out? Well I don’t mind – that’s just the way things are for now.

They don’t have to understand the science behind it, they don’t even have to care so much about this condition. But I do wish people will respect my answer. Don’t override my decisions. Don’t make me feel force-fed. Just stop please.

If I don’t mind eating wheat crackers, wholemeal bread, plain unsweetened yoghurt, drinking milk (which I still hate), keeping careful count of portion sizes, etc every single day then why should they? I’m the one eating and drinking those things. Not them. No need to feel pity or whatever. I don’t need it.

I don’t feel bad or sad or even worse depressed just because I can’t eat this or that. But I do get annoyed and frustrated when people won’t leave me alone or respect my refusal to eat this or that even after I’ve tried to explain or politely said I’d see what I can have during my snack time later, etc.

Maybe they will feel bad or sad or depressed if they’re in my position, but I’m not them. Maybe they’ll have a hard time controlling themselves and think it’s such a pity that I miss out on this or that. I don’t. Like I said, food is just food. I enjoy eating. But I’m not chained to food. Please just leave my food choices alone. TYVM.