Sometimes…

Sometimes…

I feel like I am failing.

I don’t think I have enough patience to be a mother.

I wonder why I thought I could have another baby.

Sometimes…

I don’t think I have enough patience to be a junior high school teacher.

I think I have to choose between being a nice teacher or the crabby teacher because being “fun” means kids can’t refocus.

I think about quitting.

Sometimes…

I feel like a let down as a wife.

I am painfully aware of how much work it is to love me.

I cry when he can’t hear me.

Sometimes…

I wonder why people stay my friend.

I have to admit I wouldn’t be friends with me.

I step outside myself and don’t like what I see.

Sometimes…

I laugh so hard at something my boys do, I forget all the other challenges of the day.

I see in his eyes that wants no one else but me.

I think I can change the world one student at a time.

Sometimes I forget that my life is blessed because I get blinded by my self-doubts.

*************

sometimes i know, sometimes i rise
sometimes i fall, sometimes i don’t
sometimes i cringe, sometimes i live
sometimes i walk, sometimes i kneel
sometimes i speak of nothing at all
sometimes i reach to myself, dear god
~Sometimes by Pearl Jam