I Like Big Hats and I Cannot Lie

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her hat.
It is so big. (scoff)
It looks like one of those giant tea cosies.
But, you know, who wears hats like that anyway? (scoff)
She only wears them because she can hide her dumb top knot underneath..
I mean, her hat… it’s just so big!
I can’t believe the shape… it’s just so round, it’s like, so out there, I mean— gross. Look!
She’s just so… CRAY!

I like big hats and I cannot lie
You hat-haters can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with a frosty and chilly look
And a big thing on her head
You get jelz, wanna put on a cap
’Cause you notice that head is hot
Deep in wool and felting
I’m hooked and I can’t stop wearing
Oh Acne, you and Stevie J are a perfect pairing
My mates tried to warn me
That that wooly dome would make people LOL
Ooh, grey Band turban
You say you wanna get on my cranium?
Well, wear me, wear me
‘Cause you ain’t that average millinery
I’ve seen them at Ascot’
To hell with fascinators
You’re pumped up,
Got it goin’ like a turbo heater
I’m tired of magazines
Sayin’ big hats are for shows only
Take the average dowager and she’ll say that
Hats gotta pack a-lotta punch
So, ladies! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got a hat? (Hell yeah!)
Tell ‘em to size it up! (Work it!) (Work it! (Work it!)
Work that bulbous head!
Baby got hat!