Month of Love
February.
The month of the infamous holiday FULL of love, Valentine’s Day. Personally, I am neutral on the Valentine’s day debate. You don’t need a significant other to make or break the day. There are too many people that blow Valentine’s Day out of proportion when they are single, dubbing it “singles awareness day” and whining and moaning about it until the day passes. Then, the same whiners will have a partner the following year, and again, create drama because they have to have the perfect Valentine’s day.
It’s a vicious never ending cycle. I still love these people, it’s just an annoying character flaw.
This next part may seem unrelated, but keep reading, It ties together in the end.
In my Communication Studies class I wrote a paper that categorized people into four different quadrants of attachment styles.
TANGENT: Two years ago, I needed data for one of my research papers and had 20 of my sorority sisters or other friends (plus a few males) complete this quiz. For my final results I plotted the data in the quadrants to see an overall look at what attachment styles my peers fell into. Not surprisingly, I recall only TWO being within the Secure quadrant. It’s very very uncommon to be just one style and often we will fall between two and lean towards one, usually not secure.
It’s not a bad thing to fall into anyone quadrant, but it helps individuals recognize how they approach relationships and how their actions can unknowingly hurt (or exceedingly annoy) others.
Those individuals that are always worried about Valentine’s Day, I may be presumptuous, but they likely are the Anxious Preoccupied group. To feel satisfied with themselves they are dependent on others and need that external cue and affirmation to feel good about themselves.
My personal quadrant is the opposite of that
“… styles indicates that dismissing people tend to prefer their own autonomy–oftentimes at the expense of their close relationships. Although dismissing people often have high self-confidence, they sometimes come across as hostile or competitive by others, and this often interferes with their close relationships.”
…but, I’m aware that Valentine’s Day can be huge in relationships for the Preoccupied quadrants and I will let them be romanticize the holiday because that’s just what they do.
Me? I’ll be headed out on the town with five other lovely ladies for a feast of Thai food. Some of us are single and some of them have men that are MIA that day for one reason or another. Our evening will be full of love.
Love for one another, love of food, and our love of the weekend!
If you’re interested in seeing your own relationship style, follow THIS LINK for the quiz I used for my final paper.
More interesting reading?
The Science of Relationships
Finally…. this speaks directly from the heart.
When you are deeply in love with your bed.
