Baby on Board!
I know, it took a while to register with me too.
Things people have been asking....
When is the due date? June 26th, 2015. The day before my dad's birthday.
How far along? Three months today. The wording of that question, 'how far along', makes me think we're talking about either something really personal like 'when did you last change your underwear?' Or something really common, like 'when is dinner going to be ready?' It's hard to explain, but I guess I'm getting used to it.
How are you feeling? Relieved now that we heard the flutter of a beating heart, saw the baby turning around and trying to eat its toes and can share the biggest secret we've ever kept! Also, scared, excited and very hungry for fruit and sweet things. The other day I ate yogurt with granola for breakfast and lunch. I hate yogurt. I also don't eat breakfast. Things are changing: small things as well as big things that I have a hard time picturing yet. I have also been extra emotional. The other day I cried at Ralph's grocery store when the cashier offered to go get the raisins I meant to buy instead of the prunes I brought to the register. I have also been experiencing morning sickness, but it's the worst at night. There are a lot of things I can't even think about eating right now that I usually love; like chips and salsa and soup. I was sure I wouldn't get sick at all because I love reading in the car and amusement park rides that are named things like "The Rotator". I was so wrong. I am carrying on with my love of soy sauce and parmesan cheese microwaved onto rice cakes. Rest assured.
Are you moving to a bigger place? No. Doesn't it sound fun to share a one bedroom with a screaming newborn? No really, it does to me. Right now I'm more exited about making room than I am about moving. Also, there's a lot of change going on already, so I'm focusing on where new furniture can go and how I get to learn to knit baby clothes and buy more stuffed animals!
Are you going to find out if it's a boy or a girl? No! I don't know about secrets, but we like surprises.
Are you going to keep surfing? I've been surfing for the first three months so far and have been encouraged that I will be able to continue to surf after seeing videos like
this and reading articles like this. The doctor said it's good to continue with your regular exercise routines as long as you take necessary precautions and listen to your body. I am looking into getting a foam board for my second and third trimesters, though. If surfing doesn't feel right, I will get to spend time doing things I wish I did more often like body surfing and swimming.
What I would have wanted to ask myself if I could have before any of this happened...
Are you any different now that you're a mom-to-be than before? Not really. I was always kind of crazy and emotional, remember? That has stayed the same. I don't want to surf any less, but the other day I sat and watched a perfect double-overhead north west swell peel and launch itself over the reefs in front of the house and I thought about what a gift it would be to share something so powerful and transcending with someone who doesn't even know of its existence yet. A good swell will probably always get my attention and maybe I will pass that on to this person we will raise.
I still don't feel like a grownup either. I knew you'd be wondering, old, non-baby-carrying self. I don't feel any more like a grownup because I haven't outgrown the person I've always been. I'm still curious. I'm still wild. I'm still longing for more from life. I think, by definition or by stereotype, we think being a grownup means giving up your childish fantasies, but I'm never going to do that. I'm still looking for a hole in a tree that might lead to Wonderland; for the star in the sky that is Never Neverland. I do not, however, feel invincible anymore. I never fully felt before how vulnerable we are driving in the fast lane.
Do you miss drinking alcohol? At first it was hard to imagine not having a drink with dinner or playing flip-cup with my friends for 40 weeks or more. I thought Halloween was borderline unbearable being sober. I wrote in my journal that I didn't think I had ever really been sober on that hallowed day since even as a kid I was drunk on sugar and sleep deprivation. I asked Scott if I could smell his wine while he was drinking it. I wondered why I had never appreciated all the layers of flavor in a good cabernet. But after a few weeks, it didn't matter anymore. I don't think I ever fully realized how good water is; how it wakes you up inside; how without it, nothing would live.
A quote from one of my favorite books, The Secret Life of Bees
"'Our Lady is not some magical being out there somewhere, like a fairy godmother. She's not the statue in the parlor. She's something inside of you. Do you understand what I'm telling you?' 'Our lady is inside of me,' I repeated, not sure I did. 'You have to find a mother inside yourself. We all do. Even if we already have a mother, we still have to find this part of ourselves inside.'"
What I would have wanted to ask myself if I could have before any of this happened...
Are you any different now that you're a mom-to-be than before? Not really. I was always kind of crazy and emotional, remember? That has stayed the same. I don't want to surf any less, but the other day I sat and watched a perfect double-overhead north west swell peel and launch itself over the reefs in front of the house and I thought about what a gift it would be to share something so powerful and transcending with someone who doesn't even know of its existence yet. A good swell will probably always get my attention and maybe I will pass that on to this person we will raise.
I still don't feel like a grownup either. I knew you'd be wondering, old, non-baby-carrying self. I don't feel any more like a grownup because I haven't outgrown the person I've always been. I'm still curious. I'm still wild. I'm still longing for more from life. I think, by definition or by stereotype, we think being a grownup means giving up your childish fantasies, but I'm never going to do that. I'm still looking for a hole in a tree that might lead to Wonderland; for the star in the sky that is Never Neverland. I do not, however, feel invincible anymore. I never fully felt before how vulnerable we are driving in the fast lane.
Do you miss drinking alcohol? At first it was hard to imagine not having a drink with dinner or playing flip-cup with my friends for 40 weeks or more. I thought Halloween was borderline unbearable being sober. I wrote in my journal that I didn't think I had ever really been sober on that hallowed day since even as a kid I was drunk on sugar and sleep deprivation. I asked Scott if I could smell his wine while he was drinking it. I wondered why I had never appreciated all the layers of flavor in a good cabernet. But after a few weeks, it didn't matter anymore. I don't think I ever fully realized how good water is; how it wakes you up inside; how without it, nothing would live.
A quote from one of my favorite books, The Secret Life of Bees
"'Our Lady is not some magical being out there somewhere, like a fairy godmother. She's not the statue in the parlor. She's something inside of you. Do you understand what I'm telling you?' 'Our lady is inside of me,' I repeated, not sure I did. 'You have to find a mother inside yourself. We all do. Even if we already have a mother, we still have to find this part of ourselves inside.'"
p.s. this is the board Scott had when we met.
