A DISTINGUISHED GUEST
“You get the feeling that if the walls could talk, they would whisper secrets of lux and love – of affairs and the type of debauchery that comes with wealth and status and occurs safely behind closed doors.”
I am all for a little luxury. After extended press trips I often get home and throw my towels on the ground only to realize no one will replace them with fresh ones. It is rude awakenings such as these that have led me to believe that reality is overrated. If I could live in my five star bubble permanently….I would.
My latest five star venture took me to The Windsor in Melbourne. I knew the Windsor by reputation. The name itself conjures up images of old world elegance, of ladies who lunch and a by gone era when class and distinction where of upmost importance. Certainly when The Windsor was first built in 1883 it embodied all these things and more. It was the destination for Melbournes’s socialites and the hotel of choice for dignitaries & celebrities such as Katherine Hepburn, Anthony Hopkins, Meryl Streep and Sir Richard Branson. I look forward to the day when they add Tempting Alice to their distinguished guest list – hurrah!
These days, The Windsor maintains it’s reputation and takes it’s guests on a journey back in time. Heritage listed, the Windsor is like a real life time capsule. You get the feeling that if the walls could talk, they would whisper secrets of lux and love – of affairs and the type of debauchery that comes with wealth and status and occurs safely behind closed doors. I…of course added my own flavour of debauchery. The nature of which…I will leave up to your imagination.
The Windsor is most famous for their high tea. Imagine buckets of champagne, and a tier of delights to tempt even the most selective sweet tooth. Yes… high tea was splendid but my favourite quirk was the afternoon tea etiquette booklet that guides you through the do’s and don’ts of the high tea experience. As an aspiring member of The Windsor’s distinguished guest list…I felt it was important that I mastered the basics and embraced the opportunity for self growth.
1. Always introduce yourself to unknown guests attending the Afternoon Tea
2. Your teaspoon should never be left in the teacup whilst drinking. If no longer needed, your teaspoon should be placed on the right hand side of the saucer.
3. Never gesture with your teacup or hold your teacup in mid-air. When not drinking, place your teacup on the saucer. The saucer should remain on the table or held in your lap.
4. When using your fork during your Afternoon Tea, the fork should always be set on the side of the plate when finished and not on the table.
5. In Victorian times, if you took milk with your tea you would pour it into the cup first as this represented good manners and protected the fine bone china from cracking.
6. Do not swirl your tea continuously. Rather gently fold the tea towards the 12 0′clock point two or three times. Avoid clinking the sides of your cup while folding your tea and do not tap it on the edge when finished.
7. When seated place the napkin on your lap. When excusing yourself from the table gently place your napkin on the side of your place setting and do not refold it.
8. Be sure to look into the cup as you drink and not over it at your companion.
9. Do not spread your jam and cream directly onto the scone. Rather, place them on the plate first and then spread onto the scone.
10. Never dip your biscuit in your tea!
Other pressing issues include…
‘to pinkie or not to pinkie’
“The Windsor recommends never holding your cup with your pinkie finger extended. This is improper and in many social settings can be considered rude.”
Phew…thank god for the booklet. Let’s be honest…my social graces leave a lot to be desired and if not for the ‘Afternoon Etiquette’ booklet I would have been a high tea horror show…descending into what The Windsor refers to as ‘Tier Panic’. As it stood…I tucked my pinkie away like a trooper and managed to scrape through with a pass. In the future, if I am to pursue a life as a lady of leisure and one day qualify as a ‘Distinguished Guest’ …I might need to lift my game. Mmm…practice makes perfect. High Tea anyone?
Thank you to The Windsor for the stay and the staff for the marvellous service. For more information and bookings…please visit their website.
TA
x
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