not crochet:: the dark arts
In the past, you may have visited while I talked about trying to perform the dark arts
a.k.a. knitting.
I pretty much have come to the conclusion that skill with 2 needles is completely out of my range of mastery.
Basically, I suck at it.
I’ve tried videos, books, small & large needles, in-person lessons…all to no avail.
When I was but a teenage hooker, knitting was in fashion and crochet was considered old lady stuff and dorky and I was even told it was a waste of time. Not to be deterred from my love of hooker therapy, I quietly made afghans and amigurumi toys for myself and my family secretly wishing the whole time that I could learn to knit so that I could make stuff that was loved by the mainstream. I thought to myself, if only I could spend the gobs of money it takes on a knitting machine I would make the most fabulous stuff.
In the meantime, crochet has made a comeback. And that makes me an incredibly happy hooker. So much so, that when I turned 40 I decided I would hide my skill no longer and I started this blog that blossomed into an obsession for all things crochet. Really, I had no idea that you noticed I’m obsessed. You have also now noticed that the reason I named my blog yarnchick40 had to do with my mid-life crisis and no longer hiding who I really was.
Now, on occasion I can be found doing some retail therapy both online and in the real world. And, on occasion I happen to glance longingly at knitting machines. Those puppies are expensive! I have never justified the cost of my hobby enough to cough up that much cash for what I consider a toy. Because really, hobbies for adults are like toys for children. Amirite?? Would all the 5 year-olds in the room please raise their mud-pie smeared chubby little fists clutching a lego?
So my story goes like this::
My co-workers and I were innocently surfing the web doing our jobs first thing in the morning, because no one checks personal email or facebook first thing when they get to work. Lo and behold, my co-worker’s friend bought an old auction house in a tiny town nearby and was posting all the random stuff that was left in the building by the previous owners. She was posting hundreds of pictures, and somewhere in the midst my co-worker piped up across the office, ‘hey, you wanna knitting machine?’
I held my composure and did not start jumping up and down flailing my arms like the 5 y/o I am. I nonchalantly replied ‘umm, sure if it’s cheap’ knowing full well she could be asking $500 or more. I was wrong. We chatted by phone, my co-worker’s friend and me, and neither on of us had any idea what the stuff was worth or what pieces were there or if any of it would ever work. She looked it up online and shot out a price of $250, I said ‘nah, not worth the risk’. She decided to suggest $150. Then I perked up. I had that much left in my yarn fund.
I was still undecided so I told her let me think a bit about it, because let’s face it I am NOT a gambler.
But then I realized I NEED TO TAKE SOME CALCULATED RISKS or I would be boring FOREVER. And then I called her back up and offered $100 to save it from the scrap metal dealer and she said ‘DEAL’.
THAT, my friends was the moment I was able to lose my composure and start jumping up and down flailing my arms like the 5 y/o I am.
All the while, I thought I was going to be lucky if::
a.) all the parts were there for a knitting machine
b.) would it cost me another $500 to get all the missing stuff replaced
c.) was it even manufactured anymore
d.) a multitude of other crap
FYI, if you should ever buy a knitting machine know that they weigh what feels like 100# each.
…and then 24 hours went by like I was sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office because I wanted my lollipop and dammit I wanted it NOW
In the end, I have acquired the following::
Passap Duomatic “Pinkie” (minus the yarn cup and 1 blue stripper)
Brother KH-120 & KR-120 manual machine & ribber
Brother KH-860 & 2, count ‘em 2 KR-850 ribbers, a color changer, floppy drive & punch card reader
a multitude (I like that word today) of punch cards, manuals, floppy disc patterns & spare parts
5 crochet hooks (damn dark arts STILL require the assistance of a hooker implement, booyah)
As of this week, I have spent over 30 hours of my sparse free time cleaning them, setting them up, searching for manuals, watching youtube videos and attempting to knit.
So far, I still suck at knitting.
