Girl, carrying a few bottles of water: Im just getting kind of sick of tap water.Boyfriend: Uhh, sick of tap water?Girl: Shut-up!--Westerly Natural MarketOverheard by: Sophia P. Alsome | Thumbs up | ...
Guy in suit #1: You know what you do?Guy in suit #2: What?Guy in suit #1: You say fuck it and go live in The Hamptons...--Central Park, by Baseball Fields Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link &mid...
Asian woman: (taps UPS mans shoulder)UPS man: Yes?Asian woman: You are a hero to the world.UPS man: (looks confused)Asian woman, taking out camera: Can I take picture?UPS man: Ummmm... sure.Asian wom...
Guy eating pizza: Its hottt!Girl: Temperature hot or spicy hot?--29th & 7th Ave Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2012-0...
Girl: I think Im going to be a lumberjack tomorrow.Friend: But then how will we tell you apart from the hipsters? I mean really, whats the difference between a lumberjack and a hipster?Girl: One of t...
Guy, watching the Discovery shuttle making final flight: Whats that? Two planes together?Friend: The top one is the Challenger that went to the moon.--Queens Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link &...
Employee #1: Allllllll niiiiiiiight loooooong. Im gonna give it to ya, give it to ya, give it to ya, give it to ya...Employee #2: Yo, shut up. This aint no Puerto Rican idol.--Starbucks Alsome | Thum...
Mother: Get your butt over here!Little girl on leash: I am looking for the bunnies! (looks over a pile of large garbage bags)Mother: You are fucking gettin on my nerves!Little girl on leash: (starts ...
Nervous girl holding wobbling cardboard box: Its chewing through the box!Boy holding birdcage: Thats so cute!--94th & Broadway Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote th...
Five-year-old boy, looking at turtle: Oh, look! A frog!Older sister: Thats not a frog, thats a lizard.--Prospect Park ZooOverheard by: Brian Borsics Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · E...
Employee #1: Does this look shlumpy? (indicates plastic water bottle, shoved in front pocket of her work shirt)Employee #2: We work at Rite Aid. We all look shlumpy.--Rite Aid, Brooklyn Alsome | Thum...
Girl #1 to host: Can you change the tv to MSG?Girl #2: MSG? Is that a channel?Girl #3: Isnt that in Chinese food?--51st & 2nd Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote thi...
Man: So did you like your lobster?Woman: Yeah. It was like eating a really big shrimp.Man: Mmm-hmm.Woman: I mean, theyre basically the same animal, a lobster and a shrimp.Man: Well, yeah. A shrimp, a...
Guy: Wats your name?Girl: MelissaGuy: Do you want to get a drink sometime.Girl: I have a boyfriend... But I appreciate your courage.--Bar, Upper West Side Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link &mid...
Inebriated frat guy to another: No, you drunk asshole, its the Mongolian bakery!--Columbus & W 70thOverheard by: JKKFrat boy: Im Brad Pitts brother! Who do you think youre cutting corners with?--...
20-something guy to 20-something girl next to him on subway: Excuse me, but I just had to tell you that youre the hottest chick Ive seen all day. No, actually week. Maybe even month. No, wait, there ...
Hot girl to male friend: If I have free time, Im going to spend it with my daughter or my friends, who I already know, already trust and already made out with.--7th St & 2nd AveGirl: I got Sweene...
Blonde girl to guy friend: Ive never done real porn before. Whats it like?--Fordham University Lincoln CenterLoud, long-haired, seemingly-straight white guy: So I wanna do a promo for the "hard-...
Girl walking out of tattoo parlor: So... Now I have a shamrock on my vagina.--St. Marks PlaceOverheard by: Alex S.Man to friend by Rockefeller Christmas tree: I wanted to cover up the Marilyn Monroe ...
English teacher, seeing colleague with baseball bat over shoulder: Its time for corporal punishment!--English Class, Bronx HS of ScienceOverheard by: LillianHistory teacher: Sometimes this class just...
Hot 20-something girl on cell: Does it mean that Im less of a person because I have a smaller crotch?--StarbucksWoman at coat check in hair salon: Do you have another hanger? I dont like this one, it...
Loud black lady on cell: How bout that time I drive by your house, call you up and ask where you at? You say you in a cab, I see you sitting there with your babys mama, what up with that!--Penn Stati...
Burly black man: Im just not a flirty person.--10th St & 4th AveOdd woman consoling her friend: You see, he could be a diamond, but he chooses to be coal! And here you are, sparkling!--6 TrainWom...
Girlfriend to boyfriend: If we got married, do you think everyone in our lives would loose weight for the wedding?--4 TrainTeen girl to friend: Its like anorexia but... spiritual.--34th & 7thGirl...
Blond-haired, blue-eyed six-year-old girl with mom to rasta: Are those ponytails in your hair?--Washington Square ParkOverheard by: CaseyGuy with enormous ginger afro: The hair thing is very weird; I...
Older man to wife, in front of freezer: "Slow churned" What does that mean? They could put anything in there--how do you know hes really churning it slow?--Key Foods, WhitestoneMan with Rus...
Six-year-old, playing video game: Whee! Im going to commit suicide!--B TrainEmo kid on train to another: I once tried to overdose, but my metabolism was so fast that it didnt work correctly.--N Train...
Guy #1: Im finally got to interview candidates for my assistant position.Guy #2: Nice!Guy #1: Yeah, I had the perfect one all picked out, but HR had the final say so I didnt get the one I wanted.Guy ...
16-year-old boy #1: Oh, yeah, I just mushed his face on the grill and made him eat the chicken cutlet and shit was still cold.16-year-old boy #2: Yo, but was the grill on?16-year-old boy #1: You mean...
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