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#99665 i Alle

Esme Update

Esmes class made pirate hats at school today. Nothing commands respect on the mean streets of South London like a pirate hat and a small paper flag, and no one messed with her turf all afternoon.She ...

31 jan 12

I wonder if anyone still reads this stuff

29 jan 12

That basket again

In case you were wondering, this is what has happened to this blog:My laptop has expired. Even Ian could not fix it, although you can see how thoroughly he investigated it. It is dead and gone.Despit...

04 nov 11

For Esme - with Love and Squashing

21 sep 11

Things you should know before coming to our house

We have clothes moths. I gather a lot of people have clothes moths, this year: they are blossoming.I knew there were moths here when we moved in, and at first I thought how quaint! Moths like you see...

21 sep 11

So

In the fast-moving, ever-changing diplomatic landscape of the classroom, Esme and her temporary nemesis are friends again. I suspected and hoped this would happen, which is why I strenuously advised ...

16 sep 11

New-School Politics

[The names have been scrambled to protect the innocent me]"Mummy, &!*@# is not my best friend any more.""Is she not? What happened?""She said, I have got another best fri...

15 sep 11

Its about time I wrote another blog post, isnt it

Here, look at this. This is a Creative D100 "boombox", as I am led to believe young people call them. I dont expect for a second that young people use the word boombox: I expect it is used ...

16 aug 11

The kitchen is finished, look

Please watch this with a Philip Glass soundtrack: preferably Knee 1, from Einstein on the Beach. I couldnt get it to work.

16 jul 11

60W Separation Anxiety Light, £399

So: the kitchen wall is soon to be pulled down. This weekend, Ian will be removing an Experimental Chunk: I find this more exciting than Christmas. I find dental surgery more exciting than Christmas,...

02 jul 11

Serious Discussions About Kitchen Redesign #824: Tom Dixons Beat Stout Light

HIM: Its a bit BIG. And dark.ME: I really want to put one in our house somewhere.How big is it?A bit bigger than that one over the coffee table. That ones 45 cm across. The black one is 52.Thats pret...

29 jun 11

Riveting Videos of My Floor

The old floor, and the new. Youll need an extra-big bucket of popcorn for watching these: theyre cinematic triumphs. Of course they arent. Theyre videos of the floor. I dont know why I think anyone o...

23 jun 11

Smackinamaowf

Well, here we all are. Its ten-thirty: time for more coffee. I began writing this post at one this morning, when I couldnt sleep: I tried sleeping again at two-thirty, but Ian was sleeping restlessly...

22 jun 11

Damnation and Chaos

Hello Internet. We are back from our holiday to damnation on the Isle of Wight, and it was brilliant.I am not going to tell you about it today, because our house looks like this:Because we are us, we...

31 maj 11

Before I Go On Holiday To Damnation

I am off tomorrow for a week. Hooray!I could do with getting out of London for a bit. I very seldom feel like this, but here we are. London is a patchwork of the fabulous and the shit, and all Ive se...

19 maj 11

Five Years

Ive been up since 6.30 this morning. This is an early start, in this house. At this time of year, when the mornings already broken in the small hours and the sunlights going HELLOOOOO through the cra...

12 maj 11

Emails from Ian

A selection of subjects, in alphabetical order:boilers and all thatbottomscockscormorantdarwi ndinner!drink!earthquakes!ewar woowar1fire!foxes!heating?hell oHello!Hello my love!Hello! Dinner! Books!Huu...

11 maj 11

London Bridge Traffic Jam, Sunday Evening

Me: "Ha! Oh God! Do you remember the other time we were stuck in traffic on this bridge? In a taxi?""Ummm..." "You, me, and Jef. About ten years ago.""Oh God! Yes .....

09 maj 11

My Darlings

Hello! Yes. Its about time I posted something. I am full of exciting stories, me. Ive had lots of ripping adventures around the house lately, some of them extending into the garden or as far as the l...

03 maj 11

Goats: A game for all the family

You can file this under Cornwell family stupidity that no one else will want to understand.When Esme was smaller, I used to take her to Vauxhall City Farm, where urban children go if they want to see...

26 apr 11

British Politicians #374: Sir Eldon Griffiths

1. From WikipediaSir Eldon Wylie Griffiths (born 25 May 1925) is a former British Conservative politician and journalist.Griffiths was educated at Ashton Grammar School, Emmanuel College, Cambridge, ...

24 apr 11

Ians Easy All-Butter Cookies

As my last Lenten post HOORAY, I have a treat for those among you who gave up cookies for Lent. Hast thou been virtuous? Hast thou had no cake, biccies, or cookies? Then why not make yourself a batch...

23 apr 11

Sproinggg

Ive been staring at a blank white screen for about 10 minutes. Lent ENDS tomorrow. Hooray! My hope is that once it ENDS I will no longer feel this terrible pressure to write stuff, and amazing words ...

22 apr 11

Uneventful Week in Photos

1. Ian, inspecting the children, as he likes to do once a month. He asks them a few general-knowledge questions; where they see themselves in five years time, that sort of thing.2. The children share...

21 apr 11

One last time

20 apr 11

Oh my God is it Saturday yet

Tonight, you lucky bastards, you get a CAT* AND BABY VIDEO. If you watch it with the sound on, all those minutes I just spent pissing about in Windows Movie Maker will not have been in vain.*I cant b...

19 apr 11

Paraphernalia

The trouble with children is that they have arms, legs, and hands. Parents of small children will be only too familiar with the sensation of rolling over in bed and being pranged up the sphincter by ...

18 apr 11

Slice of Life

Or: Banana Excalibur. But, no. That makes it sound more exciting than what it is, which is basically a baaaaaby videooooo zzzzzzzzz. But there is a sword involved. Babies with swords! What is this, t...

17 apr 11

People of Sainsburys #376: Mr & Mrs For-Fucks-Sake

.I stopped watching at this point. I just couldnt take it any more.

17 apr 11

Follow Friday

They do this on Twitter, dont they? (You know. Them.)Im all a bit ker-pfffft today, so this is a perfect opportunity to point you in the direction of brilliant Internettery.Please to read Pizza (and ...

15 apr 11

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