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kelly oxford Twitter: @kellyoxford 1977 If I was a mood board you would see: gold, ativan and a photo of David Sedaris drinking my breast milk.
#15864 in Alle

No thank you, Meg Ryan’s arms.

No thank you, Meg Ryan’s arms.

1 Tag seit

I realize I posted this song 2 months ago, but DEAL. The whole...

I realize I posted this song 2 months ago, but DEAL. The whole album is great.ALSO: I love Dave.

1 Tag seit

The smile and look he gives the audience after getting that line...

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2 days seit

Just saw this. Don’t need to see anything else today....

Just saw this. Don’t need to see anything else today. (Taken with instagram)

2 days seit

Texts from my husband to my mom.

Texts from my husband to my mom.

3 days seit

Why is Bea, age 3, singing

“I am the muffin man, running over fat kids with my van.”

3 days seit

Writing down what my husband says as he watches The Bachelorette

James: Look at these guys. James: The only way to get on this show is if you say yes to these questions: Are you a dick? James: Do you like tight black t-shirts and arm curls? James: Do you like atte...

5 days seit 1 person likes this

Except, my necklace doesn’t have ALL that stuff on it. Only the...

Except, my necklace doesn’t have ALL that stuff on it. Only the one dangly purple/pink stone in the middle. And I have the smaller satchel. Otherwise, yup.Someone unfollowed me yesterday, explaining:...

6 days seit

No thank you, AIDS baby movie.

No thank you, AIDS baby movie.

19 Mai 12

Pretty much how I’ve been rolling since this moment in...

Pretty much how I’ve been rolling since this moment in 1984.

16 Mai 12 1 person likes this

Good evening

Good evening

13 Mai 12

Saturday afternoon texts with Jenny

12 Mai 12

"Airplane! In HD on Netflix."

“Airplane! In HD on Netflix.”

12 Mai 12

It took me 34 years but I just realized...

The photos of skinny people holding out fat pants are probably people who have never actually been fat before. :(

11 Mai 12

Just got my copy of @MrDaveHill book “Tasteful...

Just got my copy of @MrDaveHill book “Tasteful Nudes” I know for a fact it is hilarious and you should go out and buy 10 copies because he’ll send you an amazing sandwich if you do. DaveHillonline.com

11 Mai 12

10 Mai 12

Photo

08 Mai 12

MET BALL: Im not posting anything that I like, because thats boring (Carey Mulligan FTW)

Hair, makeup, dress= perfection.Feathers and color change of feathers start at a weird part of the leg and make her look like she’s meeeellllllttting. Or maybe that Spiderman where the black go...

08 Mai 12

Got an advance copy of the next episode of GIRLS.

Got an advance copy of the next episode of GIRLS.

05 Mai 12

Don’t judge.

Don’t judge.

29 Apr 12

shiiiiitI fly a lot, a lot, and nothing like this has ever...

shiiiiitI fly a lot, a lot, and nothing like this has ever happened.(I’m flying 4 times next week I’ve totally jinxed myself)

27 Apr 12

Today I #FF’d my fav. band for the past 3 months...

Today I #FF’d my fav. band for the past 3 months @futureislandsSelf described as… too noisy for new wave, too pussy for punk.I don’t know these guys, but I think they are perfect.I alternate between ...

27 Apr 12

Wrote this a few weeks after NBC passed on my pilot in Feb.Thanks NBC.CLICK HERE

Wrote this a few weeks after NBC passed on my pilot in Feb.Thanks NBC.CLICK HERE

26 Apr 12

Milking this

Milking this

23 Apr 12

"You know what eating with braces feels like? Banging two bruises together."

“You know what eating with braces feels like? Banging two bruises together.” - Sal, age 10

23 Apr 12

Look at what GLEE has done to us. :(There is no way that guy...

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21 Apr 12

Henry, 4/20(obviously kidding, but LOOK at him.)

Henry, 4/20 (obviously kidding, but LOOK at him.)

20 Apr 12

This made me almost vomit 3 times in the past 24 hours.

No excitement diarrhea, but def. excitement vomit, which is 100% preferred method of body freak-out-expulsion.If you were thinking you’d like to buy it, do. The more pre-sales I have, the more...

20 Apr 12

This means a lot to Timothy Hutton, so it means a lot to me.

Sir Timothy Hutton (I don’t think he’s been knighted at all) has asked for my endorsement in his campaign to become the fake Mayor of Portland.Truly? Is there anything I would rather do? ...

20 Apr 12

LOVEdanforth:“Nic he corner” pretty much sums up the...

LOVE danforth: “Niche corner” pretty much sums up the philosophy behind everything I post to the Internet.

20 Apr 12 1 person likes this

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