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LUV & HAT
luvandhat.tumblr.com
14
Hilarious disagreements by (mostly)Stuart Heritage, who writes for The Guardian, and Robyn Wilder, who is a woman.
#90433 in Alle

HOTEL CHOCOLAT

LUV - If Groupon had its shit together, it’d shelve all those “chocolate experience days” where you file into a sterile room and a stern woman shouts at you about the discovery of the cocoa bean then...

3 days seit

BARBECUES

LUV - This summer, barbecues are going to be brilliant. Listen. Stop looking at me like that. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, I used to be a VEGETARIAN. Do you know how hard it is to be a vegetarian at a barbe...

17 Mai 12

PINTEREST

LUV - You what I’m sick of? Using my brain. All day long it’s people and words and stress and lists and bits of paper and meetings and books that you don’t remember you’re not really into until you o...

10 Mai 12

EASTENDERS

LUV - I cop a lot of shit for liking EastEnders, but fuck you. EastEnders is brilliant. It’s brilliant because it knows exactly what a soap should be. It’s grey. It’s flat. It’s oppressively miserabl...

03 Mai 12

PASTIES

LUV - It’s hard to trust people who don’t like pasties, isn’t it? It’s hard to look at them, and their tiny mouths and their monocles and their ridiculous cutlery infatuation, with anything oth...

26 Apr 12

JEGGINGS

LUV - I have a lot of love for jeggings. In fact, I love them so much that immediately after I typed that first sentence I went online and BOUGHT SOME JEGGINGS. Because, make no mistake, jeggings are...

19 Apr 12

BAKING

LUV - This is the last fucking thing I want to admit. Mums bake things. Nans bake things. Worse still, awful Shoreditchy internet wankers with blue hair, a fondness for overpriced cocktails and an ob...

12 Apr 12

TOM JONES

LUV - So far, The Voice is a pretty terrible show. If you haven’t seen it, here’s what happens: a blandly competent singer clomps up on a stage and warbles, while Jessie J and an anonymous Irish man ...

05 Apr 12

KRISPY KREME

LUV - Oh Krispy Kreme. You have ruined all other doughnuts for me. All of them. Sugared doughnuts. Jammy doughnuts. Even those Rolo doughnuts that have a perfect ring of caramel magically inserted in...

03 Apr 12

DOLPHINS

LUV - Before we start I just want to apologise for the HAT section of this post - because it’s not HAT, it’s actual hate. It’s a hate paean to dolphins. It’s a shamefully inhumane tract of anti-anima...

30 Mär 12

DRAW SOMETHING

LUV - In case you’re one of the three people left on Earth who isn’t glued to their phones playing Draw Something right fucking now, let me ‘splain. Draw Something is a game you play on your phone. S...

14 Mär 12

PEANUT BUTTER

LUV - Thank you, North America, for your generous bounty of peanut butter. It’s delicious. It improves everything it touches – sandwiches, chocolate biscuits, my hair. My hair has never tasted so goo...

08 Mär 12

NANDOS

LUV - It’s easy to spot people who don’t like Nando’s. They read The Telegraph. They series link daytime BBC One shows about cowboy plumbers. They like the theatre, but only if they can read the revi...

06 Mär 12

MOVIE TAGLINES

LUV - It’s 2012. We are officially living in the future. And the bad thing about that – apart from the fact that the words “trending” and “facetime” have entered my mother’s vocabulary and yet I stil...

02 Mär 12

BOARD GAMES

LUV - Right, fuck you, board games are brilliant. Oh, I know they’re not cool like your Jason Beavers and your iPhones and whichever brand of nerdy arrested development with post-teenage entropy and ...

29 Feb 12

NICOLAS CAGE

LUV - I watched It Could Happen To You the other day. It was weird. It starred Nicolas Cage, but it wasn’t really a Nicolas Cage film. It was like watching an early episode of Come Dine With Me, back...

23 Feb 12

SAUNAS

LUV - Deep down, everyone is a little bit self-deluded. Some have delusions of being Ryan Gosling in Drive. They’re the ones chewing on a toothpick in a horrible jacket, aiming for ‘self-contained de...

21 Feb 12

SNOW

LUV - Everything is temporary. That’s what Buddhism teaches us. Also to, you know, wear orange and look a bit smug. But mainly that everything is temporary - each second that ticks by will never come...

10 Feb 12

CANDLES

LUV - I don’t normally play the gender card, but bloody LOOK HERE. I am a woman. A hard-working woman who toils all day in an office that smells of carpet and procedure, in a city that smells of BINS...

08 Feb 12

GIRAFFE BREAD

LUV - Oh come on. What are you, made of stone? How can you not be moved by: a) A three-year-old girl writing to Sainsbury’s to ask why tiger bread is called tiger bread when it looks more like a gira...

03 Feb 12

QUIET CARRIAGES

LUV - Fact: Going anywhere on public transport is a billion times better than going by car. Being involuntarily force-fed tinny phone music by aggressive schoolgirls on buses is how I keep up with wh...

01 Feb 12

NAPS

LUV - I’ll cut to the chase: if you don’t like napping, you’re probably a monster. If you can’t derive pleasure from crawling into bed fully clothed at three o’clock in the afternoon and waking up an...

26 Jan 12

CATS

LUV - Look, I’ve already won this. I might as well sit back and do my nails or taxes because, no matter how many times Stuart Heritage angrily thumps out the word “bellend”, or ejaculates blood from ...

24 Jan 12

DARK CHOCOLATE

LUV - I am a man of exceptional taste. For example, I am writing this from a bespoke handcrafted chaise longue in my parlour. I am listening to early Serge Gainsbourg. I am drinking champagne out of ...

19 Jan 12

WHITE CHOCOLATE

LUV - You know what? I love chocolate as much as the next typical woman, but even I have to admit that sometimes it can be just too damned CHOCOLATEY. I realise that some of you will disagree. But be...

17 Jan 12

TUMBLR

LUV - This is a Tumblr site. You’d be forgiven for not realising that because it’s not called FUCK YEAH ARGUMENTS and isn’t plastered in photographs of Jared Leto, but it is a Tumblr site. I realise ...

12 Jan 12

FLATPACK FURNITURE

LUV - Much like Hitler, I’m starting to believe that Scandinavian people are the epitome of human evolution. They’re taller and better looking, for a start. They’re easygoing and trilingual. Their st...

10 Jan 12

CHRISTMAS COMPETITION WINNING ENTRY: NIGHTCLUBS

LUV - Who invented nightclubs? I want to find that bloke and shake his hand. Well, maybe not; he’s probably in a mental health ward and might try and rip the faces off anybody that goes anywhere near...

06 Jan 12

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

LUV - New year’s resolutions are most definitely a good idea. Who wouldn’t look back at the twisted corpse of the year gone by, see the myriad ways that it made your life quantifiably shittier, and v...

03 Jan 12

CHRISTMAS PUDDING

LUV - You’re probably getting sick of hearing this - I’ll stop soon, honest - but I bloody love Christmas. And I think I’ve finally worked out why. It’s not the shopping (because if I wanted to get r...

22 Dez 11

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