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HOW TO BE A DOMESTIC DISGRACE
howtobeadomesticdisgrace.blogspot.com
11
What Nigella would do if she had an insubordinate toddler, 97 pence to last the week & a kitchen full of flying ants
#112227 in Alle

Its Saturday night and youre going to be soooo jealous when you find out what Im doing.

I am defrosting the freezer.  Oh yes I am.  Whats more, Im doing it in filthy tracksuit bottoms and going at it with a scrubbing brush and a sponge, and spitting great hanks of hair out of ...

19 Mai 12

How to Remove Stains

Here I am again, back with more domestic tips.  I know you cant wait and this one will revolutionise your life.Way back when we had money, time and no child running amok, we moved into our curre...

02 Mai 12

How To Get Away With Living In Squalor

This is my specialist subject and one that I could write a book about (hear that potential publishers?  I am open to offers).Regular readers will be well aware that I am a die hard housework dod...

29 Apr 12

Come back Annabel Karmel, all is forgiven.

For these reasons:1. Rory from the sofa on which he was lounging in front of the telly yesterday:  "Can you get Daddy to order me a pizza please?"2. Rory at playgroup during singing time...

02 Apr 12

And this is why Im learning to drive:

Until about 6 weeks ago I had never driven a car.  I was too busy to learn when I was 17 while all my friends started their driving lessons. (Not too busy with A-levels you understand. No, I was...

16 Feb 12

The Risk Assessment

A risk assessment is a pointless thing.  I was taught how to write one when I trained to be a teacher and very swiftly realised that it had nothing whatsoever to do with keeping your pupils safe...

06 Feb 12

On Duvet Covers & Sleep

Im not materialistic.  Im really not.  I dont care about what I do or dont have.  But there is one service that I am certain would make my life a happier one if I could afford to pay f...

28 Jan 12

Low Calorie Arse Cake

I know, I know, I havent updated for quite a while.  Ive been snowed under here, people.  Busy busy busy.  My poor child is looking at me with sad eyes and asking if we can do baking b...

20 Jan 12

Meet the Veggies

Recently, I won a big Abel & Cole veggie box from a competition over at Kerrys brilliant blog, Life as I Know It. (Go and check her out, especially this post about when she volunteered to drive h...

09 Jan 12

Product Review: Fancy Dress Outfitters Wolverine Costume

I received an email from Fancy Dress Outfitters well before Christmas asking if Rory and I would like to review one of their costumes.  "Hell yes" was my response.  We love dressing...

04 Jan 12

Les the Meerkat: a Photographic Retrospective

Les the Meerkat has been puked on.  So has the festive edition of the Radio Times, my Mason Pearson hairbrush and the majority of the floor, but its Les who was the real casualty here.  Ror...

24 Dez 11

All I want for Christmas is...

...I dont know.  I dont know what I want for Christmas.  Ive been casually ignoring everyone whos asked me for months now and with one week to go I still cant come up with anything.All I ca...

18 Dez 11

Mister Maker, I Want a Word.

We watch a lot of Mister Maker in this household.  This is more to do with the fact that Id secretly like him to take me roughly over his arts and crafts table than any great interest in toddler...

14 Dez 11

When Cosy Traditions Go Bad

I see it as one of my duties as a parent to start traditions in my family, particularly at this time of year.  For example, my parents introduced the Ceremonial Fetching of the Christmas Pork Pi...

08 Dez 11

Labour Saving Device Saves My Marriage

I worship at the altar of our dishwasher.  I love the thing.  Weve had it less than a year and I can honestly say that I dont know how we managed to avoid the divorce courts without it as o...

06 Dez 11

Things to do with your child #11 Chocolate Shortbread Stars

Things are getting festive in Disgrace Towers. Well, weve got an Advent Calendar and Mr Disgrace and I are knocking back the mulled wine like theres a world shortage, so I think that counts.Inspired ...

02 Dez 11

November Photo Scavenger Hunt (Domestic Disgrace Style)

I have lots of friends who like making stuff.  They have beautiful, inspiring blogs packed full of creativity and glorious photographs and tutorials.  Kirst at The Leopard Anchor (one of sa...

28 Nov 11

Done All Your Christmas Shopping?

Dont be stupid; its still November.  Theres at least another three weeks to go before I pull my finger out of my arse and spend a miserable day twitching in various queues, spending money that I...

27 Nov 11

Something happened to my bathroom.

Something bad.  Something involving my husband and the toilet and what looks like it might have been a pick axe and the mistaken belief that he could replace a broken part without having to call...

26 Nov 11

Mix Tape Monday: A Guilty Pleasure

Im joining in this meme (have nothing else to say, so might as well).  Go here to find out more if youd like to join in too.So, I had to come up with a guilty pleasure for todays theme.  No...

14 Nov 11

On the Other Hand...

...after yesterdays whinge-a-thon about the evils of pregnancy, birth and babies, lets take a look at a very important point in favour of having another baby:You can dress them up in ridiculous outfi...

13 Nov 11

Who Stole My Broodiness?

I have never been broody.  I dont really like babies either.  I get very excited when my friends are having them and cant wait to meet them, and mine was very cute (biased?), but in general...

12 Nov 11

Should Toilet Humour Be Tolerated?

NO, says this internet source.  Wow.  Of all the internet pages that have ever made me feel like a bad mother (were into tens of thousands by now), that one is the worst.  Thank you,&n...

09 Nov 11

Child Friendly Restaurant Review: Frankie & Bennys

Lo, what fresh hell is this?We got caught feeling hungry whilst out of the house with Rory again.  Schoolboy error.  Hence, on Saturday we ended up in a Frankie & Bennys restaurant some...

31 Okt 11

"Noise With Dirt On"

Isnt that what someone once referred to boys as?  That sums them up fairly accurately to me.  If you also add "obsessed with anything with wheels", youve just about got them covered...

26 Okt 11

List of Bothersome Things

I used to write these frequently from the age of 15-22ish, only they were entitled "List of Crap Things" and said crap things were usually related to idiotic men (well, boys) and the fact tha...

23 Okt 11

Jelly Cat: Revisited

Check it out mo fos.  Check. It. Out.Thats right my friends, I have reached the pinnacle of motherhood and here I sit on the successful jelly maker throne, laughing manically and dropping little...

22 Okt 11

Distraction

I was going to write a new blog post this afternoon, but seeing as Rory has decided that he is not going to have an afternoon sleep, and instead has coloured every available millimetre of his naked b...

21 Okt 11

Innocent Kids Review

Dont get me started on Smarties.  Several years ago, some moron in their design department decided to do away with the cylindrical tubes and plastic lids and replace them with a rubbish hexagona...

20 Okt 11

Things To Do With Your Child #10: Bubble Pictures

Who made these 30 years ago?  (or 20 years ago, for those of you who are less decrepit than me).  I remember doing this activity at nursery when I was 3 years old and its still as awe and w...

18 Okt 11

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