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Holy Candy | The Altar of the Superficial | Celebrities, Gossip, Entertainment, Pop Culture, Humor
holycandy.com
26
Poking fun at celebrity and entertainment news. Because the regular news is too darn depressing.
#49864 in All , #238 in Humor

Funny Dog Picture: You Know You’re a Mom When…

…Your arm has fallen asleep, but you don’t dare move it in fear of waking the baby.

8 h ago

Top 10 Things I Will Remember This Memorial Day

10. A time when I was able to leave the house and get into the car in less than two hours. 9. My once legendary tolerance. 8. Sleep. 7. A day when something other than the Fresh Beat Band blared from...

3 days ago

The Family Dish: Katherine Heigl Introduces Baby Adalaide & Aishwarya Rai Rocks Cannes, Horns

WHOLE ‘NOTHER KIND OF WORLD PREMIERE: Katherine Heigl introduces baby Adalaide As Naleigh puts a reassuring hand on Katherine’s shoulder: “Mom, let’s have a talk about that cr...

3 days ago

Funny Cat Picture: Getting Cat-Blocked

“Stop right there. The last time we ‘wrestled,’ I ended up having eight kittens.”

4 days ago

Social Media: Explained for Moms

There’s a funny chart going around with a breakdown of social media using donuts as an example. Although donuts are awesome — in fact, I’m craving a glazed one right now – I t...

4 days ago

Filed Under Potentially-Icky- But-Hopefully-Not : Ashton Kutcher and Rumer Willis Continue to “Hang O...

Okay, let’s hope Rumer isn’t tapping into her inner Soon-Yi (or tapping anything else, for that matter)… In what is hopefully just a sweet and totally innocent continuation of a ste...

4 days ago

Hank Baskett Jr.: Static Electricity Win

“”Hey, you! Kid who told me to rub my head on the balloon?! NOT COOL!”

4 days ago

Top 10 Things I’ve Learned from ’50 Shades of Grey’

Granted, I’m only halfway through book #2 in the trilogy, but it’s been quite an education nonetheless. What I’ve learned: 10. A virgin who orgasms — twice — her first t...

5 days ago

Reader-Submitted Funny Kid Photo: Sweet(ly Uncomfortable-Loo king) Surrender

Looks like somebody heroically fought the Battle of Tangled Blankets… and lost. With thanks to Laughing Stork reader, Russ of The Stay at Homer, who submitted the picture of his son and notes: ...

5 days ago

Fun for Parents: The Fresh Beat Band Drinking Game

If you happen to find yourself watching The Fresh Beat Band long after the kids have gone to sleep (not that Mr. Candy and I, um, have ever done that), then why not make it even more entertaining wit...

5 days ago

Parenting in Internet Age: Daughter ‘Begged’ for Spanking Instead of Mom’s Mortifying Web Photo

My mom always tells me she doesn’t envy me, having to raise kids in the Internet era. After all, all she had to worry about me doing as an adolescent was sending gushing fan letters to Ricky Sc...

5 days ago

Pop Quiz: Tori Spelling’s Daughter Hattie is Thinking ____

Hattie McDermott is thinking what in this picture? 1) “You are not SERIOUSLY having another baby already, are you, Mom? …MOM?!” 2) “Out of sweet potatoes? Whatchoo talkin̵...

6 days ago

Our House of Gaga

When you have a two-and-a-half-year-old, you find yourself having interesting conversations that you probably wouldn’t otherwise have (barring the presence of wacky baccy). It forces you to thi...

6 days ago

Why You Shouldn’t Mess with Women: Exhibit A

Although it’s not on fire, so I’d say he got off easy. The story…

6 days ago

Father of the Week So Far: Desmond Hatchett, Father of 30 Kids, Asks for Break on Child Support

Apparently, there has been a 14-year emergency shortage of condoms in Knoxville, because a 33-year-old man living there has fathered 30 — yes, THIRTY — children and is asking the courts f...

6 days ago

Funny Kid Picture: Drawers Caught on the Drawer

“Hold on, honey. Have to make sure the lighting is good so I can post it on Twitter…” Photo Source

22 may 12

The Family Dish: Alanis Morissette on Breastfeeding and Corporate Sponsors All Over Kardashian Baby...

THINGS YOU OUGHTA KNOW: Alanis Morissette defends attachment parenting, saying she will breastfeed and sleep with 16-month-old son, Ever, until he wants to stop Which we can only hope leads to severe...

22 may 12

Top 10 Signs My Toddler is Driving a Car on the Road

As you can see, our kids are ready to hit the streets of Los Angeles in their sweet wheels, so I just wanted to give fellow drivers a heads up. If you notice any of the following warning signs, well,...

21 may 12

Wiggles Drama! Three Members — GASP! — Wiggling Out of Popular Children’s Band for Good

Oh, major drama behind the scenes of The Wiggles, people — three members of the children’s music quartet will be retiring their colorful outfits and leaving the Australian band this year,...

21 may 12

Awkward Pregnancy Picture: Attack of the Monster-Sized Baby Bumps

When she asked for 8x10s, the photographer thought she meant the size of her bump(s) — in feet. Photo Source

21 may 12

How a Mexican Jumping Bean Got Me to Breastfeed

Few things get women more impassioned than the breastfeeding versus formula discussion — except, perhaps, the equally important “Summer Neon Trend: Yay or Nay?” debate raging on a n...

18 may 12

Clip of the Day: Toddlers & Tiaras’ Contestant Represents Africa…By Looking Like a Real Housewife o...

If Toddlers & Tiaras is known for anything, it’s the education offered to contestants and viewers. (Seriously, I had no idea what a “flipper” was until I watched this show. My I...

17 may 12

These Vasectomy Cakes Are a Cut Above the Rest

Warning: Cake #6 is not entirely safe for work or for people with aversions to penises with faces. Im sure the concept of a dog playing with balls totally reassured him! "Retirement" is a dip...

17 may 12

Filed Under “Seriously?!”: Aishwarya Rai Ridiculed in India for Not Losing Baby Weight Fast Enough

I used to think David Hasselhoff was our most cringe-worthy export, but no…! Turns out, it’s our expectation that celebrities return to a size zero weeks after giving birth (coincidentall...

17 may 12

The Five Stages of Post-Baby Weight Loss

If we were to believe the covers of celebrity gossip rags, then all women magically shed their baby weight within a month and parade around in a bikini shouting, “I GOT MY BODY BACK, B*TCHES!&#...

17 may 12

10 Ways That Teething is Like Being Pregnant

Although he is only eleven months old, somehow our little guy has been cutting his top teeth for, oh, approximately nine years. Which got me to thinking…you know, teething isn’t all that ...

16 may 12

Baby Shower Cake: Fire It Up!

Congratulations! But…is it charcoal or gas? Photo Source

16 may 12

10 Ways That Teething is Like Being Pregnant

Although he is only eleven months old, somehow our little guy has been cutting his top teeth for, oh, approximately nine years. Which got me to thinking…you know, teething isn’t all that ...

16 may 12

The Laughing Stork Launches New Line of Toddler-Inspired Bumper Stickers

You know those ubiquitous “MY CHILD IS AN HONOR STUDENT AT BLAH-BLAH MIDDLE SCHOOL” bumper stickers? Well, I was giggling at such a sticker the other day when I thought, “How cool w...

15 may 12

The Afternoon Dish: Monroe and Moroccan’s First Birthday Picture and Snooki’s Sacrifice for Her Baby

DOUBLE THE CUTENESS: Mariah and Nick share a picture from Monroe & Moroccan’s first birthday party in Paris Matching white outfits — all the better to smear chocolate icing on! A MOTH...

15 may 12

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