OK, so I know its been MONTHS since I last posted and I have no excuse....other then I started to think blogging was bad for me. I know, right, fucked. Since when is an outlet for thoughts and emotio...
I'm freaking out a little at the moment. I'm supposed to be "relaxing and taking it easy" according to our director who was NOT pleased with me in our rehearsal yesterday. He said, and I quote "you l...
Hey ladies. Wow, thanks so much for all the amazing posts! This has been a rough week. We start shooting on Monday and I've spent most of the week either in rehearsals, at the park memorizing lines, ...
Hey ladies! I am terribly sorry it has been an entire week since I last blogged. The problem is that I'm around people again on a daily basis and am utterly paranoid of even being logged into my acco...
The hair is a little bit ridiculous, not gonna lie :) But it wasn't an arbitrary decision on the part of the producers; it's actually something that was necessary for the script so I'm glad I didn't ...
Just wanted to let you guys know I GOT THE PART! I found out on Monday but this is the first time I've been alone at the computer since. I can't chat long because I have an early morning tomorrow.......
The audition on Friday went pretty well. I wound up fucking up and eating before Friday though :( Thursday night I could NOT sleep I was so hungry. I started visualizing how my face would look on cam...
Dr. Phil...?/?//? seriously??? Are you a fucking lunatic? Why don't you go find one of the hundreds of girls on here whose careers wouldn't be completely DECIMATED by going on your little talk show. ...
So I told myself I wouldn't write again until that wretched 2 had been obliterated from the middle of my weight FOREVER! I was 118 yesterday! Still a far cry from my pre-admittance weight, but there'...
Ok, woke up at 120 lb this morning and thus felt like blogging. It's still disgustingly high and I feel like a prisoner in a giant fat cage...but its on the way. I think once I'm out of the 20's and ...
I hate feeling hungry. And its not just hunger anymore, I'm starving all the fucking time. HELP. I had two auditions lined up for this week and didn't go on either of them because I HATE MYSELF THAT ...
Hey guys,so, If anyone is even reading this, my show got pulled. Things got kinda out of hand recently and I was forced into a treatment facility by my manager. It was pretty much the most rotten few...
Had a commercial audition today. It was amazing how different this audition was compared to the auditions i used to get pre-show. I used to get called in like cattle with at least 4o other girls, clu...
Hey ladies,I'm 100% a big, stupid loser!!! i got back to the states ages ago and resumed taping for the show...but just sort of put off writing because everything was just shit. I know, i hate me too...
Hey guys...I'm writing from an internet Cafe in Paris right now...Crazy huh. My mom's been living here and they gave us two weeks off from shooting so she flew me out for some shopping. I would have ...
Set was a disaster today. Our usual AD was sick...and let me just tell you what a fucking difference a good AD makes. We were soooo slow. We usually average about 5 or 6 pages a day, which is pretty ...
On set...break time. The swim suit incident appears to have passed...though the producers are looking rather jumpy today. I hate how they hang out on the set...as if something might, at any moment, c...
Hey ladies, so i've promised a couple people that i would make a list of my fav ana related books and movies! Here it is:I'll start with books...some of these are ana novels, some just relating to we...
Cannot function without ana...I was a baby that popped out of my mothers vagina with what the majority of people would call an "eating disorder." I either eat nothing at all or everything in sight. P...
Wore a bikini...everyone said i looked bony, but in a "we're all very concerned for you" way. Unless that's my fear and i'm projecting it onto them. But today, literally every single person on set an...
Today was just one of those days where you wake up exhausted. It doesn't help that my day begins at 4:30am. I don't usually require all that much sleep...so it was strange to wake up feeling gross to...
On set, looking over my blog and the comments...very strange today so i think i shall comment. First, Belle, You have nothing at all to be sorry about lady!!! Curiosity never killed any cat i had:) I...
I don't really know my own sexual preference to be honest...i always thought i was straight. Then, after high school, i just started thinking of myself as asexual...cause i don't really find men that...
Hey ladies...sorry for the delays again. Things are just happening so quickly and i never seem to be alone anymore...which sorta sucks. I miss my computer time...but hey, once the show raps i'll have...
again, i failed to post on my breaks. Perhaps it is time for me to stop promising. I talked to B today...well, he talked to me. He found me, i was on another set listening to my ipod (alanis, "jagged...
Sorry i didn't post on my break today, but i literally spent all of my breaks hiding from B. Blah, why am i such a loser. I think i have one of those social disorders...where i don't interact well wi...
The photo shoot went well...but also horribly. It was actually the most fun i've had in a while, but also marked the beginning one of the worst nights ever. The mood was great at the shoot itself...a...
So i went out with J...after we worked out on Friday we went out for drinks and food (none for me of course, i had diet coke and seven peanuts and 4 lime wedges)- we talked about the show...about the...
Hey little ladies, so things are sorta back to normal...sort of. Today is my first actual day off in FOREVER so i thought i'd begin it with a little blog, to help get me back on track. I was 112 toda...
I absolutely, 100% HATE MYSELF right now. I've been on a fucking 3 day binge...during shooting. WHO DOES THAT? I have it all right in the palm of my hands and i fucking throw it away...three nights i...
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