“What? No, she loves orange. There’s no bowtie, true, but the sheen of the jacket more than makes up for it. You know who I am. There’s no way this won’t end with … yeah, with a bang. At least t...
“This jacket … is my personal Scarlet Letter. I can’t deny my virility — to myself or to the beautiful women who flock to me. I am the Pied Piper of dirty, strings-free sex. This jacket symbolizes...
“Glance upward, Waldorf. Look off into the distance with me and contemplate our future together. It is a future full of bowties. A future in which I may start referring to you by your first name. ...
“Oh for fuck’s sake. I hatch a perfectly diabolical scheme to get you all hot and bothered, and you waste your sexual energy on Lord Robot? He’s not even wearing an ascot. I spent half an hour dec...
“Nathaniel. If your uptight harpy girlfriend is going to call every five minutes, I’m going to need you to put your phone on silent. In case you forgot, Humphrey punched me in my face - as if I wer...
“Waldorf, I’m aware we’re on pretty shaky ground right now, and this probably won’t help. But those footless tights were a mistake. It’s darling that we coordinate so well, I’ll admit - it adds a v...
“Note to self: buy more coats with fur collars. They convey the sentiment ‘I am a total p.i.m.p.’ in a classy, understated fashion even my father would approve of.”
“Woah, Archibald! Chuck Bass - wearer of pink, lover of many - does not need nose candy. I’ve got enough self confidence and stamina to outparty a hundred Lindsay Lohans. With that said, hand it ov...
“Nathaniel, shut up. Your Blair problems are meaningless to me. I’m in the midst of a real crisis here. I’m worried I may have gone one pattern too far today, and I need complete silence while I c...
“There is so much to learn from me, tiny van der Woodsen. Let’s start with your hair. It is alarmingly swoop-y. Do you see this carefully cultivated bedhead? It’s meant to look as if I just woke ...
“That’s rich, Humphrey. You’re a scholarship kid from Brooklyn. And you have the audacity to show up at my hotel in Gap jeans? And then question my choice of trousers? Get out of my face. Go hit...
“I am too proud and rich to beg, Blair. With that said, look how well we coordinate. The couple who wears green together stays together, even if one half of that couple lied to the other half so th...
“Hrmph. I look way better in white. Whatever. I’ll just be over here, brooding in a somewhat creepy fashion.”
“Yes, I am wearing the leather gloves. Yes, I am aware that they add a Patrick Bateman edge to the whole look. I’m okay with that. Do we have to go over who I am again?” imchuckbass: (via meesters)
“Nathaniel, trust me. The popped pink collar is a solid decision. I’ve already slept with three girls today and it’s not even noon. Come back to me when you’re wearing a velour hoodie; maybe then ...
“I am so uncomfortable right now, I can barely even focus on my surprisingly tasteful and understated grey suit (not to mention the baller timepiece I’m sporting). I mean, I love making her jealous,...
“This certainly is a jaunty hat, isn’t it. Note that my boat shoes feature the exact same shade of cerulean as the stripes on my shirt. I mean, this may be the beach, but I still have a reputation ...
“Waldorf! How nice to see you. Hos, Waldorf. Waldorf, these are hos. Maybe you should take a cue from them. I mean, what’s with the neck ruffle?”
“Toned it down? What do you mean, you see I’ve toned it down? I’m Chuck Bass. I still drink scotch at noon and I’ve still got Gossip Girl on speed dial. Sure, I’ve chosen a necktie over a bowtie t...
“Focus on how well we coordinate. I mean, hot damn woman, just look at us. We are two fly bitches. Me with my classy tie and … And I’ll have you know that this is not a purse. It’s European.”
“Cougars love me in maroon, Waldorf. And while we’re talking color choices, what’s with all the neutrals? I mean, shit, I’m virtually overflowing with testosterone, and yet I’m the only one in this...
“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, poor man’s Waldorf. Have you noticed that my suit jacket is covered in sequins? How could you not? Waldorf 1.0, it seems that you’re somewhat perturbed ...
“Sometimes when I’m sad about my hollow life filled with bitches and booze and occasional angst-filled dalliances with a certain doe-eyed Waldorf, I like to put on my velvet blazer (accented by a coo...
“Hell yeah these pants are red. Look how red my pants are! Nate could never wear pants this red. Nate doesn’t have enough personality for pants this exuberant, this delightfully whimsical. Though ...
“Nice tux, loser. Did you even bother visiting a tailor? Don’t bother answering - that is some seriously off-the-rack fuckery you’ve got going on there, Baizen. Now drink this. What do you mean, ...
“My paisley pants turn you on, don’t they. It’s okay, you can admit it. You’re quite the second-rate Blair, by the way. I’ll probably get around to tappin’ it sooner or later. Now go fetch me a w...
“What am I up to? Oh, just riding around in my limo, artfully mixing patterns. You know how I roll.”
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