Guy #1, seeing deli worker dispose of food on the pavement: Did you see all that food he dumped on the curb?Guy #2: Hell yeah! If I was a bum Id be like, oh snap!--Spring & Lafayette Alsome | Thumbs ...
Physics teacher: You guys cant give me these vague answers! You need to be precise!Girl, under her breath: Shut up. There, thats precise.--Bard High School, QueensOverheard by: Sunny Alsome | Thumbs ...
Little girl: Im sooo drunk!Nanny: Dont stay that! Thats not a nice thing to say.Little girl: Its what my mom says.--73rd & 2ndOverheard by: notyetawino Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link ·...
Israeli tourist, in Hebrew: Wheres the Israeli street in Brooklyn?Boss: Im sorry, I dont know Brooklyn, I know Manhattan.Israeli tourist, to friend: Do you wanna try going to Manhattan?--23rd & 6th A...
Lanky guy to dude dressed as Waldo: Hah, I found you!Waldo guy: I found you.(waldo guy pummels lanky guy with striped pillow)--International Pillow Fight, Union Square Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs dow...
Old black man: Are you Trinidadian?Woman: No, Im Jamaican.Old black man: Oh, damn... Yall is mean. Jamaican women will treat you good if they love you... But if they dont... You wont live very long. ...
Woman #1: Wait, were in Manhattan now?Woman #2: Yes, we crossed the Harlem river.Woman #1: But... We were in the Bronx. I didnt know Manhattan went up that far.Woman #2: We were in the part of the Br...
Man: So Im not going to be like, "pens!" (in falsetto) "Yeah!". Im going to be like, "pens!" (in operatic baritone) "Yeah!"--96th & BroadwayGuy on phone: J...
Guy on cell: Also, its not for nothing, but I wouldnt hesitate to slap the shit out of her.--28th & 6th AveOverheard by: NathanWell-fed black women to boyfriend: I will smack the color right off ...
Yuppie mom to daughter trying to pet duck: Melissa! The ducks dont want you touching their heads. Actually, as a rule of thumb, dont touch birds heads, any heads... I dont want to get a complaint tha...
Angry waitress: When Pattys mad, she goes to church. It dont help her!--Diner, Fordham RdHobo, punching brick wall: Im not mad! Im just testing my knuckles!--Outside Webster HallGuy on street to fema...
Irritated girl to imploring guy: Im gonna have enough to answer for on Judgment Day--Im not adding this to the list.--Strip Club, Times Square20-something prepster: If the zombie apocalypse happens t...
Middle-aged optimist: Thats just the way it is, youre sitting in lemons and suddenly you get lemonade!--JFK Jetblue TerminalNYU guy to friends: I have a drinking problem. As in, when I drink water, I...
Black guy to another: And thats why black guys shouldnt wear speedos!--BrooklynBlack dude yelling to friend: Wait! Brothers dont run!--St. Johns Queens CampusLoud teen to friends: Aint no normal scho...
Girl to friend: Dude, so I was totally falling asleep on the toilet at work and thought of you!--Abilene, BrooklynOverheard by: MateoHomegirl on cell pacing by the subway: Woman put a cigarette out o...
Girl, holding yoga mat: Can I see it first?Guy: Think yoga mat times two.Girl: I dont know if I can handle that!--Grand St & Mercer Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quo...
Girl #1: Shes not a whore...Girls #1, #2, #3, in unison: Shes a tease!Girl #4: Thats stupid. Id rather be a whore.--Crocodile LoungeOverheard by: a Tease Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link &midd...
Woman, watching ice skaters: I cant watch the Super Bowl.Man: How can you not watch the Super Bowl?Woman: Can you go shoe-shopping for eight hours and not buy anything?Man: Good point.--Rock Cafe, Ro...
Latino teen #1: I just figure when I get to Mexico Ill ask for bud and hope I dont get kidnapped...Latino teen #2: No, nigga... sock it!--Williamsburg, Brooklyn Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Lin...
Girl #1: Okay, so how do I get him to believe me? I need him to believe me!Girl #2: What?Girl #1: I need Chris to belieeevveee me!Girl #2: Listen, girl, just tell "you better believe me youre in ...
Husband at deli: Nice waiter. Remember how rude they used to be?Wife: Well, Im sure during the day they still are.--Carnegie DeliOverheard by: Alan Blum Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link &middo...
Female MTA employee, over PA, after train doesnt stop at Fordham: Chris, we missed Fordham.Male MTA employee, also over PA, sounding drunk: I fucked up.--Metro-North RailOverheard by: Mike Alsome | T...
Mother: Do you remember what this is?Four-year-old son: No.Mother: Its what mommy has. Its a vagina. Remember all little girls have a vagina.Four-year-old son: No, they dont.Mother: What do they have...
Waiter: So everyone here is getting a water?Girl: Yeah, were easy. (winks)--Uno PizzeriaOverheard by: Anastasia Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote this! ·
Hobo: Excuse me, sweetie, can I bum a cigarette?Female tourist: Eh... I already bummed you one. Hobo: Oh, you did? When? Female tourist: About eight minutes ago. Hobo: Really? (proceeds to take pack ...
Black guy #1: Hey, come get your newspapers here!Black guy #2: Hey man, is they free?Black guy #1: Ohmigod. Thats the problem you with you black people! Damn, ya always want free shit! No, nigga, it ...
17-year-old girl smoking on her stoop, on phone: We had this party at school and I was tardy, and my English professor told me dont mark late, mark tardy, and I said but they said if I erased anythin...
Snobbish girl: My sister has no friends.Disinterested guy: Hmmm.Snobbish girl: She is lonely.Disinterested guy: Hmmm.Snobbish girl: I have been telling her to buy the new iPhone with Siri. She will a...
Drunk girl #1: I dont care if Tims going have a baby with her. Im still gonna fuck him.Drunk girl #2: Good for you!--St. Marks Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Link · Email · Quote th...
Guy #1: Yeah, my parents are diehard Republicans and I just dont get it... They love George Bush... My Puerto Rican mom is a Republican!Guy #2: Yeah, I dont know what the infatuation is with Spanish ...
You are no longer following . Undo?
English
Suomi
Svenska