Life in the first world is pretty sweet. You can order just about anything to be delivered to your door: pizza, wings, groceries, shoes, clothes, even hookers. We have running water and electricity. ...
Justin Timberlake would be so very disappointed right now. You know what’s super sexy? Just a hint of cleavage. You know what totally ruins it? A giant pimple visible in the hint of cleavage. H...
Jesus Harold Christ! What the hell is wrong with people?? FOR THE LOVE!! Sure, maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m PMSing. OR maybe it has something to do with people being assh...
It’s no surprise to you that I snicker at stupid and immature stuff all the time. Most of the day it requires tremendous effort on my part not to yell “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID” a...
Ever notice how when something goes shitty in life then one of two things happens: either something even more shitty happens, or the universe send you a lifeline. I got a mix of the two today. Shitty...
You know what’s awesome? When, after years, of not really liking anyone you finally meet someone and you click. Okay, so maybe you’ve known each other for a little while, and you didnR...
Filed under: just a thought
Being a stupid whore must be hard. You have to have just the right balance of stupid, and whore. That’s too complicated for me. I’d rather focus my efforts on being a drunk whore. Stupid ...
So what did you do yesterday morning? Betcha it wasn’t as awesome as what I was doing…watching porn at a local bar at 8:00 in the morning. That’s right. I got up early on a Satur...
Today was the last day for the woman who sits behind me. The flighty woman who is missing some major brain cells and doesn’t know how to do her job. Yeah, she’s leaving. I’m real...
There are things on this earth I will never understand. Like why anyone cares what the Kardashians do, why people are so into anal, where socks wander off to, why people like olives, and why Veronic...
Day after Easter and there’s no Easter candy to be found at my house. No hollow chocolate bunnies. No Reese’s peanut butter eggs. No jelly beans. No damn peeps. Nothing. Not a damn ...
This post is password protected. You must visit the website and enter the password to continue reading. Filed under: bitch, Investments r Us, whore
There can be no other explanation for it. None what so ever. Sure, the fact that we started drinking in the afternoon could have something to do with it, but that’s just a lame excuse. It wa...
Filed under: single
Inevitably after a break up an ex always calls. It’s been several years since 3D and I broke up. I haven’t seen him since the last time I had his dick in my hand. BUT I know that I am wea...
Yeah, that’s right. I’m Team Peeta all the way. First, let me just remind you of my utter hatred for Twilight. AND let me remind you that The Hunger Games is no Twilight. There’s no...
Being a single chick it’s mandated I own a vibrator. If I didn’t have one I’d be arrested, or worse, walk around with cramped hands. It’s a sad state of affairs when the batte...
I hate my own stupidity, I really do. Beyond idiotic sometimes. Hey, Oingo Boingo, this one’s for you… I logged onto Google chat today for the first time in months and months. A messag...
This morning my mom called me to announce she was very excited with her latest purchase. She is absolutely obsessed with PBS’s “Downton Abbey”. So obsessed that if anyone c...
Are you watching it?? Are you watching “The Voice” on NBC? Because you totally should be. Look, I’m sick of stupid singing competitions. “American Idol” has been dead...
YES!! YYYEEESSS!! Y E S YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES etc…. And also, YES! People of the interwebs, a most delightful thing just happened. An old friend of mine just sent me...
Go ahead. Admit a British accent makes you swoon. I know it does. It works on me too. If an IRS auditor came to my door to tell me I was going to be audited I’d cream my pants if he said it in ...
I know you’ve all been eagerly awaiting my recap of my big date on Sunday. I can tell by the way no one emailed me or posted any comments. Nice, really nice. Remember, years ago when you use...
The wonderful world of dating often makes girls turn incredibly stupid. Open mouth breathing, eyes rolling, drooling kind of stupid. You all know I’ve had an online dating profile up for quit...
Nothing makes my day like having lunch with a hot mess. There’s something so sigh-worthy about meeting someone who is clearly more messed up than you. It’s a way to validate that weR...
I am totally hammered right now. It’s not even 8:00 on a Tuesday evening. I am amazing and awesome. Filed under: just a thought
We all have our limits. Some people just say no to, like having anal sex with married strangers, others say no to getting on an airplane. Whatever, to each his or her own. For me, I have specific n...
We get all nostalgic and shit over “the good old days”. Yeah, it’s nice to think about how things used to be. It was nice being able to go out of the house as a child and not worr...
Twilight is one of the stupidest franchises in the history of ever. I hate everything about it. Everything. I tried to get into it, I really did. Love the whole Vampire thing. “True Blood&...
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