Broslife: Watching ESPN and just learned getting a groin pull is a bad thing.
Broslife: Someday Ill own that thing in the sky. What do you call it? The sun? Yup, Im going to own that someday.
Broslife: When you wish upon Star... She says no touching and asks for a hundred dollars to go into the Champagne room.
Broslife: Its been a weird last few days. Like Lt. Harrigan-realizing-Predator-ki lled-the-Columbian-drug-dealer s-before-he-coul type of weird.
Broslife: When Mr. Flanagan was "performing" his Pantless Pauper trick, he was banging my mom. I get it now. Stop tweeting me.
Broslife: Whoever is spreading the hashtag around #BarneysBrideUnveiled must stop. Its all lies! Lies!
Broslife: Remembering when my magic mentor Mr. Flanagan needed whipped cream, a cherry, and mom to help him with his magic trick, The Cherry On Top.
Broslife: What was your favorite magic trick you ever saw performed live?
Broslife: Working on a few new magic tricks...The Slithering Snake, Bending the Lady in Half, Cyclops Last Stand, the Motorboat Parade
Broslife: Boobies! That is all.
Broslife: Nothing makes you feel better like meaningless sex. Or a very meaningful game of laser tag.
Broslife: Has anyone else noticed in The Avengers how hot agent Maria Hill is? http://t.co/x5TrrmBN
Broslife: #FF @WhyBlitz Remember Blitzgiving? This guy is his cousin.
Broslife: If Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton settled their dispute with laser tag instead, theyd both still be alive today.
Broslife: Huh...I always thought Where the Wild Things Are was porn. I learned something today.
Broslife: Is there such an occupation as a stripper magician? If so, how does one apply for said job?
Broslife: Expolde with delight, I may. I can hardly keep my excitment at bay. I want to scream out, hey, its halter top day!
Broslife: If I bang a girl and that girl doesnt make a sound, did I actually bang that girl? Yes. Yes I did.
Broslife: Boobs are natures balloons.
Broslife: If my girlfriend is a stripper, can I list her as a dependent on my taxes?
Broslife: Sometimes I wish I didnt live with this curse of being so awesome.
Broslife: Do Storm Troopers have sex? Just because theyre clones doesnt mean they cant enjoy the carnal pleasure of knocking blasters.
Broslife: The winner of the 12 Boob Madness...Katy Perry! Your gorgeous cans made Boob Madness something truly worth staring at. Thanks for voting!
Broslife: Today is April Fools April Fools. The day after April Fools when you actually April Fools.
Broslife: Suits are tacky, so Ive decided to trade in all of my suits for a wardrobe full of valor track suits.
Broslife: Marshall loves this podcast. Poop is a funny word. Listen here: http://t.co/WvXeHieZ
Broslife: Its been funbags, but the finals of Boob Madness are here. Its time to go for the JUGGular...Katy Perry vs. Scar-Jo. Results on Monday.
Broslife: Do strippers accept money orders?
Broslife: The finals of Boob Madness on Friday..to be called Boobousand and Twelves Most Booblicious Boobs...Katy Perry vs. Scar-Jo.
Broslife: For the right to go to the finals of Boob Madness against boobuitiful Katy Perry... Pam Anderson vs Scarlett Johansson?
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