Have we talked about this Golden Rhino before? It’s kind of like the Golden Goose, but those aren’t eggs he lays. They’re dumps. That’s right, for $35 this thing will crap gol...
This Toast Mattress is perfect for you, Butter Face. In case you were wondering, it helps you dream up insults from the 90s.
The great thing about this pixelated fire is that it will be conveniently located in the fireplace when I burn it to the ground. I’m all for gratuitousness. So long as said gratuitousness invol...
Well this isn’t this a fun, hillbilly way to say, “Gon 2 git groseries. Back sone?” Zinc Message Boards, $18
Here are two things that will give you opposite boner: 1. I’m about to slather on some Vicks Vaporub. 2. This leaf sculpture is made entirely of human hair.
Scorzie is a koozie that helps you keep up with the big game while it’s durable stainless steel exterior protects and cools your brewski and it’s non-slip bottom prevents those embarrassi...
Turns out the Holy Spirit entering your body feels exactly like brain freeze. Holy Wine popsicles via my badical brother.
Sorry for the short post, but I could barely stop vomiting long enough to tell you about these grillable Cakewurst cupcake sausages. It’s cupcake batter in a pig intestine for your grill –...
Here’s a fun tip: if you know a slutty girl named Ivy, nickname her “H.” I did it once, and I still consider myself a certifiable genius. Also, here’s an ivy bike lock. Perfec...
The inventor of the Euphori-Lock (voted most inexplicable product name of the day) wants to make sure your roommate/dog/voracious mom stays the eff out of your B&J. So s/he (I couldn’t be b...
And all this time I just thought “Labia Cakes” was a cute nickname from college… via BuzzFeed and The Dirty Normal who thinks these are the work of Evil Cake Shop
Meat balloons: the ideal decoration for any lucky serial killer’s birthday party! Who should we celebrate… John Wayne Tasty? Buffalo Burger Bill? Albert Fish Fry? Robert Finger-LickinR...
This week on Everybody Loves Raymond: Raymond: “Honey, I’m home.” Waits, but there’s no answer… Raymond: “Why is there never anyone here to appreciate me and bring...
If you don’t think you need a spray-painted green Kewpie Doll, then I ask you this — How exactly do you plan on making your boyfriend’s testicles shrivel? Un-bitchy aside: ThereR...
The first thing I thought when I saw the Beast Koozie was definitely not how hard I would laugh if someone shoved it up my ex-boyfriend’s prone anus. Which ex-boyfriend, you ask? Well, a lady d...
I don’t know why, but I want a bean bag chair. I can only imagine it’s because the backs of my thighs simply aren’t sweating nearly enough. Also, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BRUSH YOUR BANG...
I’m not gonna lie, folks. I have absolutely zero clue what’s going on with this doormat. I was just innocently shopping for a doormat on Amazon.com at 1 AM while drunk and found this thin...
You know what hippies hate, besides the efficient charms of Capitalism and any rationale supporting the basic tenets of hygiene? The motherfuckin’ three-second rule! In your face, accepted noti...
I hear this dresser only goes out with much younger bookshelves… Well fuck, I just googled “cougar” and it turns out they ain’t gots no spots. Judges ruling? Incorrect joke po...
Hello, internet, Urban Outfitters customers and world at large, I’m pleased to introduce today’s guest blogger: the reanimated corpse of Joan Crawford. Take it away, Joan! No… more&...
Counting sheep: you’re doing it wrong.
While this Scrappy Ribbon Garland is perfectly lovely, I’d make just a few minor tweaks… Instead of ribbon I’d use tampons and instead of white lights, I’d use red. Then IR...
Rub-a-dub-dub White trash in a tub Piled in by the dirty dozen. Some rednecks, some hookers Stripclub talent bookers All lounging and kissing their cousins.
If only there were a way to upcycle this used water bottle into a butt cleaner. And like magic, the Hygienna Solo portable bidet is invented. Word on the street is the patent officer who received the...
I’ve been searching for a desk chair and instead of finding one, I’ve just figured out I don’t like most chairs. Then that crazy ol’ cooter Pinterest showed me this. Now I can...
Awwww, this paper bow is going to look so cute on the box of cat turds I got you… via Poppytalk Handmade
Oh goodie. Now I can add “formal bitchface” to the list of languages I know. via the Whoa!
Some of you dummies will wanna make this DIY lunchbox for poor people, but I’m not crafty, so I’m going to start small and DIY my own lunch. It’s the same basic setup: Get a milk ju...
They call this the Lazy Man’s Football Chair. Not nearly lazy enough, if you want my opinion. Hit me back when you create the Lazy Man’s Refrigerator Chair with built-in toilet and jumbo-...
These tables and stools are eco-friendly. They take scrap bits they find at lumber yards, put them in a bucket of hold-together stuff (my guess is Fix-O-Dent…and forget it!) and create table le...
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