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MODG
www.modgblog.com
101
I do important things here. Like your mom.
#13734 in All

butt nuts

Dudes, my mood is foul. I’m sitting on a pile of butt nuts for one. Yes Christmas came early in this pregnancy. By now the Rite Aid girl doesn’t even bother covering up the Tucks with the...

19 h ago

Stuff I Like: My 14 panic purchases for our first toddler flight. Benefit from my assness.

Now onto the specifics. The specifics of specifically what saved our asses on the flight with our toddler. Also some shit that didn’t fly (pun totally intended). One thing I will tell you: save...

6 days ago 1 person likes this

5 steps to a successful flight with a toddler. And 1 mini step about not killing your husband. All ...

Today I’m going to talk about something that I have feared since I was pregnant with G. It was something that was inevitable for our family but it shook me to the core and scared me more than t...

23 may 12

It’s TalkVaginasTuesda y everybody! In honor, let’s talk about which exit sign will light up for Yos...

Let’s talk vaginas today. Why not? It’s Tuesday. Didn’t you know that’s TalkVaginaTuesdays? Sorry it’s so late in the day. You better get in as much vagina talk between ...

16 may 12

Behind the scenes of my Listen to your Mother performance. Panic, drama and triumph. Plus some pee ...

The countdown was 1 week until my Listen to your Mother performance. I was one of 12 writers performing in Philadelphia’s debut show. And I was 1 of 12 writers without a voice and with a face f...

13 may 12

The 8 repulsing qualities of the first trimester. Watch in amazement as I repel all humans.

Dudes. Pregnancy HATES me. Like throat razor hates me.3 days ago, I was all, SECOND TRIMESTER, TIME TO FEEL BETTER! So I stopped taking my regimented half a unisom and 2 vitamin B6′s every nigh...

07 may 12

The 2nd biggest secret I didn’t try so hard to keep. Like, ever.

**comments are on a delay. They will show up just not right away**Well here we are. It’s been 10 days. I am back. Blogging is apparently the only profession (and I’m using giant air quote...

02 may 12 1 person likes this

I’m also not locked up in a room reading 50 Shades of Grey. Totally not.

Hello friends and enemies,I’m here to inform you that I will be on a short leave of absence from the blog. It won’t be too long so don’t freak your shit at me in the comments. I how...

21 apr 12

Hello. I’d like to meet you.

Hi EveryoneI’m sorry I left you on such a low note for so long. I’m doing ok, really. In fact, Babble came back to me with another offer, which I haven’t accepted or rejected yet.Bu...

14 apr 12

This post is the mud puddle on my new dress. The Prada one. The one I bragged about and you were li...

This is a hard post for me to write.So inevitably on almost every episode of Sex and the City, Carey would be on top of the world. She would get her new Jimmy Choo’s, strut around in them with ...

10 apr 12

How I realized that being the best mother sometimes has nothing to do with being a mother

When I was pregnant with G and we were frantically trying to figure out our budget for our family and a new baby and a J.Crew habit, the discussion of the D word came up.Dickwad.No not that D word. T...

06 apr 12

NEW winner. Who is hopefully alive.

So either Katelin peaced or you all killed her for a shot at the bracelet. Either way, here is our new winner singalongforboozer s I like the silver-plated karma necklace because karma will be a ...

03 apr 12

Winner winner bracelet dinner.

And the winner of the Adorn 512 bracelet is….katelin i babysat kids when i was thirteen and i just don’t understand how people thought i was mature enough to watch their kids. then again all i ...

02 apr 12

Teenagers can’t be babysitters. They can’t even drink booze yet.

I have one of those relationships with my child that has a 40% probability of turning into some scene with me waving a gun around a future college campus screaming “NONE OF YOU WHORES ARE GOOD ...

30 mar 12

Attention MODG fans. I need your support. And I need you to make me feel famous. Usual stuff.

A friend of mine told me about this and I knew..I KNEW that I had to be a part of it. But I didn’t know if they would WANT me to be a part of it.If there is one thing I love more than writing i...

25 mar 12

The top 9 things that I’ve learned from a hippie this year. 10 was too much.

I’ve learned a lot this year. Mostly stuff from Pinterest. But all of the other important stuff, I’ve learned from a hippie. And here’s what I’ve learned about learning stuff ...

19 mar 12

After you cry about your dramababy, then you laugh about it. While he cries about it: THE FIRST HAI...

I sincerely thank you all for your thoughtful and insightful comments on the previous post. I don’t know how any mom does it without 300,000 people helping her through the hard times. So thank ...

15 mar 12

Learning to accept your child for who they are. Almost like learning advanced Physics. *hard*

Being a mom is a giant 72lb backpack of guilt that you carry around 24 hours a day. (When you sleep it sits on your face). Also, mixed into that bag is a few cans of worry and containers of ohshit.We...

12 mar 12

Declaring war on all children everywhere? Not my finest moment.

Attention internet: Everything I am about to say can’t and won’t be held against me in the court of blogs. Why? Because I’m about to say some shit.There are 2 general rules of sayin...

08 mar 12

Where exactly do they learn to throw themselves onto the floor and writhe around as if snakes are i...

Toddlers. I am not cut out for toddlers. I think the only ones who are cut out for toddlers are those people in the south who put tiaras on them.First I need to know which one of your children came t...

05 mar 12

Why hello materialism. I’ve missed you. STUFF I LIKE the toddler/lonely mom edition.

Hello friend of friends. It’s that time again. Time for me to tell you about the stuff I like and time for B to give me shit about buying stuff. It’s ok. It’s the sacrifice I make f...

01 mar 12

The Bachelor and a Bacon Unicorn and other amazing B things. But not B himself. Because he’s busy w...

Thank god you’re still here.I thought you got all Lost on me and vanished into an alternate reality complete with smoke monster.2 days ago, I go to write you a super extra good post. You know a...

28 feb 12

Tomorrow B made the conscious decision to be married to me for 5 years. I at least owe him a top 10...

Dear B,Tomorrow we have officially been married for 5 years. Do you believe it? Yeah I guess I do too. This past year I think took a good 3 off of our lives. But now that we’ve come out on the ...

24 feb 12 2 people like this

My biggest fashion secret of 2011. 2 words: free and awesome.

311 of you voted on facebook to decide what I should wear to a baby shower today. THREE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN. People like to tell other people what to do. Fact. It’s ok because I need the help.An...

19 feb 12

Do the dance. Do the diaper dance. I’VE GOT FANCY PANTS.

You only get to sing that part of the song if your kid is in cloth diapers. Since I KNOW you want to sing that part, I’m going to teach you everything I know.Just about cloth. Not about life. T...

17 feb 12 2 people like this

G is walking. And enrolled in Harvard. I mean preschool.

Things I didn’t know as a parent:#654) Getting into preschool is more stressful than getting into college.But you’re saying “MODG, you only have a 14 month old child.” I KNOW....

13 feb 12

My dad is back and he’s reviewing more stuff for us. This time we’re getting skinny people.

Many of you met Pete when he reviewed booz for us. I think we all appreciate a good booz review around here. Especially from a dad. So when I thought about important things in life, I thought about d...

10 feb 12

The only one that saved me from complete motherload meltdown. Hint: It does not have a pulse. Figur...

Dudes, this week reached into my soul, poured hot honey on it and dumped it in feathers. Then it pointed and laughed.I’ll be brief. I’m still sick. We’re back on 2 naps because G...

06 feb 12

It’s a mournful day at MODG.

Pin itDudes. World=rocked.I’m officially in mourning. G has recovered nicely from his billion germ sickness and as the virus died so did something else. Something I’ll never get back. Som...

31 jan 12

There’s really no good reason to read this. Unless you like ultimate sadness and poop pictures.

Pin itRaise your hand if you know what croup is?If you answered a combination of crap and poop YOU ARE CORRECT.However I also found out very quickly that it is a baby virus sent to torture sweet litt...

27 jan 12

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