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You Want Me To Wear What?
youwantmetowearwhat.com
30
There's a lot of clothing that I wouldn't wear. So instead, I make fun of it.
#36062 in All , #4264 in General Fashion

GPS Dress

The Herve Leger Banded Mesh-Trim Dress: Because sometimes a nude, skintight dress just isn’t subtle enough. The only way to really get your message across is with a road map. Herve Leger Banded...

5 days ago

Beary Fierce

Urban Outfitters Sparkle and Fade Fuzzy Bodycon Tunic – $19.99

25 jan 12

A Simple Prayer

Dear God, Please, let me never be in a situation where I need to run into Forever 21 and buy a pack of deodorizing body wipes. Thanks, Amanda Forever 21 Deodorizing Body Wipes – $1.80

11 jan 12

Like That Book By Nabokov

Fact: I adore GapKids. I can’t wait for the children of America to get fat enough that GapKids starts making clothes in my size. Plain and simple, my devotion to GapKids is of equal intensity a...

20 dec 11

My Halloween Wish

This is a post I wrote before Halloween but never posted. Little did I know that Kim and Kris wouldn’t make it to Halloween Eve. I have never been a big believer in The Secret, but I am changin...

15 dec 11

Floob Away

Since General Theodore von Hertzelwagner invented the wave during the Great Pickle War of 1827, there have been few advancements in the field of body language. We are fortunate enough to live in a ti...

13 dec 11

Wear It To Your Homecoming Rain Dance

Everyone knows that designers love co-opting other cultures. Last year was all about “ethnic” (ie: generic African) jewelry, but we’re moving a little closer to home for this season...

08 dec 11

She’s All Mean Girls Drive Me Crazy in Pink

Quick quiz: - Are you 17 but could pass for 29? - Are you the most popular girl in school but seem to only have three friends? - Have you been planning your prom since you were ten? - Do you wear sho...

13 oct 11

Costume Roundup: Where’s Professor Chaos?

At long last, I have found my Halloween costume. Are you ready? I don’t think you’re ready. Think of something awesome. Then multiply it by totally awesome. Then divide it by the logarith...

27 sep 11

Maddening Style

It’s no secret that I am one of the many people who love Mad Men. From the reveal at the end of the pilot that Don was married all the way through his inexplicably proposing to the insufferably...

17 sep 11

Bearly Legal Barenstain Bears, vol. 3

From Paleolithic cave drawings to Egyptian statuary, from Peruvian pottery to Roman frescoes, images of fertility and copulation have a long and storied history in mankind’s artistic developmen...

15 sep 11

It’s the Blasé Moddle, Charlie Brown!

Halloween is approaching, and even the Blasé ModCloth Moddle is getting into the spirit. It’s nice to see that even the most jaded among us still have some magic in their hearts. ModCloth Lady ...

12 sep 11

Faire Game

Words upon words have been spent giving women tips on how to make their office wear go from the office to a night out. This is, of course, valuable information for the majority of women out there. Ho...

10 sep 11

More On The Gap

When I was a kid, I was terrified of becoming an adult. I vehemently insisted I would never have kids or learn to drive a car. I was going to adopt, live at home, and either bike or have my parents d...

08 sep 11

Coincidental Kits

You know how sometimes the clinically insane become convinced that the television is trying to communicate with them? On the left, Forever 21′s Japanese Fox Top. On the right is my dog, Kit. Is...

31 aug 11

Costume Ideas #24: Cruella de Vil

Many people complain that stores start pushing Christmas earlier and earlier every year, but my biggest issue is when they push Halloween early. I love Halloween, but it’s a decidedly “fa...

30 aug 11

Harem, Interrupted

Things are pretty crazy these days.  The East Coast is still recovering from yesterday’s devastating earthquake. One of the greatest celebrity love stories of our time has come to an end. Bill ...

25 aug 11

Mod Faux Vintage

Forever 21 knows what you like. They could sense that your legs were feeling coy. They anticipated the Pirate Dog craze that’s sweeping the nation. They knew that the time was right for a Vatic...

23 aug 11

Fun With Search Terms 4

I’ve used some pretty strange search terms, mostly thanks to this blog. Examples: “Hillary Clinton wearing khaki shorts” and “Cross dressing Bugs Bunny.” So, when it com...

20 aug 11

Blasé Moddle Takes a Pic

About a month ago, I found the counterpoint to the Hardest Working Model at ModCloth. While the Hardest Working Model at ModCloth possessed a quiet serenity and confidence, this new model projected a...

16 aug 11

All In Vain

Just one question: Ellery exists solely to supply Lady Gaga with sportswear, right? ShopBop Ellery Vain Skirted Leather Shorts – $500 (was $1000)

13 aug 11

The Return

Remember that one time when Comedy Central gave Dave Chappelle twenty billion dollars and their firstborn to keep being brilliant and funny, and then he sort of cracked under the pressure and went to...

12 aug 11

Rave Reviews

Thanks to the hard work and focus of my boyfriend’s coworkers, I am thrilled to share the latest in ravewear (according to a video posted by AMI Clubwear). First and foremost: people still go t...

03 aug 11

Arch Nemesis

As we all know, Jeffrey Campbell has some interesting opinions on what parts of a shoe are and aren’t important. While you and I might believe that the basic shape of a shoe doesn’t need ...

27 jul 11

It’s A Platform! A Platform!

It’s tough being Frankenstein’s Monster. For starters, everyone thinks your name is Frankenstein, which must get frustrating and really lead to some issues with personal identity and inde...

21 jul 11

Combat Cutouts

After yesterday’s post, I decided to make this week Jeffrey Campbell week. I’ve mentioned Jeffrey Campbell shoes before, most notably with the horrifying open-toed boots from a couple mon...

20 jul 11

Naomi Stardust

My friend Naomi is one of those people so uniquely talented that, if I didn’t know her, I would probably hate because I’m petty like that. She’s an incredible photographer, a musici...

19 jul 11

Disco Down

Another reader contribution from over a month ago, because my turnaround time sucks. So it is with much delay that I post this find from Nicole. As she said, Some guy-clothing love, or … not lo...

15 jul 11

St. The Situation

As you’ve probably heard, the upcoming fourth season of Jersey Shore will be set in Italy, because MTV feels that Italy hasn’t been sufficiently punished for World War II. Alternately, MT...

14 jul 11

Sad Panda

Over the past year, I have devoted more time and energy to Hot Topic than I have in my entire life. Clearly, reader Melissa Nemirovsky felt I hadn’t devoted enough brain cells to this former te...

13 jul 11

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