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When I was a teenager, I loved writing-themed events. Workshops, seminars, “author advice” panels, you name it. Maybe I got jaded. Or went to college. Or started getting things published ...
One of my most awesome readers, H. E. Ellis, wrote a guest post. Check it out! And check him out! “So for my guest post I thought we’d play a game. Below is a list of quotes. Contestant (...
Yup. You heard it here first. I’ll even be at an official table (for the cool lit. dudes I work for). Maybe I’ll wear something distinct, so you can spot me. So far, I’m thinking N...
You’ve been asking. It was a tough choice, but I have come to a decision. The winner is…. NICK. I asked if he was Nicholas Sparks on the interwebz, but he swears he isn’t. I’l...
Do you really think that pajama-jeans-wearing soccer mom in the park is going to flip the final page of “Breaking Dawn” and pick up Plato next? And even if you did, how is the “gate...
Introducing Amazon Frown. Like Amazon Prime, but with free generic fiction downloads. Get yours now, wherever you buy stuff you regret. Someone, please explain why Jodi Picoult, Jennifer Weiner and N...
I was recently bestowed the honor of interviewing one of the young geniuses of Amazon publishing (you know the category: Amazon bestsellers>fiction>free >totally-unknown-author-wit hout-high-s...
Soon enough, YOUR collection will be next in the slaughter and you’ll be sorry you didn’t do shit for everyone else while you could. Or however that saying about avoiding Holocausts goes.
Bonus points if you manage to place the book in Stephenie Meyer’s local Mormonpalooza temple. Or any American middle school bathroom.
Ever since I got a Kindle, I’ve been reading some really shitty literature. Still in my wide-eyed Kindle honeymoon stage, I indiscriminately downloaded a bunch of free Amazon e-books. You know,...
I’m still in my fucking twenties and I feel that way. Please die first, American publishing.
“Going shopping” is for illiterate doucheheads. Which is why the only good verbs to use in acquiring these items are “getting”, “obtaining”, and “stealing...
My role model, Bristol Palin. As longtime readers of this blog would know, the news that Bristol Palin was writing a memoir inspired me to keep posting again. Thank you, Bristol. To me, you are offic...
CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT! A bit of loltastic background information first: A few friends and I found ourselves helping some film industry dudes move used movie props into a building. I have no clue why t...
Ever read Gwyneth Paltrow’s “lifestyle newsletter”, GOOP? Subscribe now and you’ll have a great once-a-week shudder laugh. If you’re wondering what a shudder laugh is, i...
A few things happened. My favorite/most pivotal/entertaining/WTF-inspi ring: 1. My previously cool, caring roommate found Jesus. She now calls me a “slutty b****” whenever I wear a skirt. ...
via Gawker. Justin Bieber and his ghostwriters banged out a book. The image to the right is an actual excerpt. If this doesn’t make you lose faith in God or publishing… Chances are...
And here I thought Nicholas Sparks was the only jerk deluded enough to pull this shit. In a recent interview, Danielle Steel claimed her books weren’t romance novels. Holy fuck. Not only are he...
Check out the stats for OkCupid users (http://blog.okcupid.com/index .php/the-real-stuff-white-peop le-like/) Specifically, see what happens when you press the female icon for Caucasians. That’s ...
I’m writing an FAQ post to answer the slew of questions I’ve gotten since starting this blog. But first, a brief letter to people who take this blog more seriously than a Cholera outbreak...
I checked my blog stats for once. And had a laugh. Among the phrases people googled to get to this blog, are: “[the da vinci code is] dan brown’s best” “mormon” or R...
The face of delusion. Creepy as hell. Nicholas Sparks. My friend and I have an inside joke about him. One of us says his name. Then we spontaneously start laughing. But really. If you’re ever f...
According to a recent Forbes list, the following fiction writers made the most money out of all their colleagues in the past year: 1. James Patterson ($70 mill) 2. Stephenie Meyer ($40 mill) 3. Step...
Stalker-Swift is concerned about your well-being. If you're captain of the football team, Jesus or a Jonas Brother According to Contact Music, Taylor Swift wrote a 350-page novel before she beca...
Do you have Bieber Bubonic Plague? Well. It’s your lucky day. The cover for Justin Bieber’s “100% official” memoir was just released. First Step 2 Forever. This is going to b...
Guess what industry I’m thinking of: It begins with the letter ‘P’. It’s full of narcissism, desperation and people getting paid by the hour for degrading themselves on camer...
This week in editors-on-meth: He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Did you know this book sold more copies than the bible?! If so, stop watching Fox & Friends. Gra...
"One nation under... THERE IS NO GOD!" Vintage awesome. The above caption is perhaps somewhat prejudiced. If only someone had read this book to me in my formative years. I’ve heard th...
Is this cover REALLY that similar to the cover of "Suite française"? A commenter suggested I should write a post about James Patterson. I know Patterson is primarily known for writing myste...
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