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Thought Catalog
thoughtcatalog.com
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Thought Catalog is an online magazine for people passionate about culture.
#3818 in All

My Life Is Over, The Les Miserables Trailer Is Out

I have never gotten chills in such a short amount of time, nor felt so moved by that one passage of the song. You go, baldy, you do your thing. Well, there it is guys, I’m pretty much done with...

1 day ago

What Your Ticketmaster “Order Processing Fee” Is Really Used For

Cloning tiny versions of every Ticketmaster employee’s dog so then their dog can have its own dog, which is a miniature version of itself. There’s a special place in hell for the people that work at ...

1 day ago

How Depression Changed Me

Before that night — or the curvature of that night, those fuzzy outlines once again — I cared. I cared about my family; I cared about my friends; I cared (too much) about my ex-lovers; I ...

1 day ago

Farm Life

My sister, brother and I grew up on 80 acres of flat, rich soil, in a climate so arid that it wouldn’t have been farmable if it had not been for the vast underground water source called the Ogallala ...

1 day ago 1 person likes this

I’m A 25-Year-Old Male Who Can’t Look Away From 16 & Pregnant

Yep, I’m wandering a deserted wasteland, trying to figure out why I, a male in his twenties, is drawn to this show about pregnant teens. Dotting the landscape here are the show’s slight weekly variab...

1 day ago

Basketball’s Roots: An Excerpt

Since they felt that the club’s success was also the race’s success, the bigger picture was always kept in mind. When the Alpha Big Five played basketball it was about much more than just the game &#...

1 day ago

Reality Show Plots As Written By A Man In The Throes Of An Existential Crisis

An elderly contestant dies during a particularly heated immunity challenge. His tribe members unanimously attempt to vote him off during the next tribal council, but they can’t write his name down be...

2 days ago

How I Want To Die

Buy enough Pringles to fill a kiddie pool. Fill a kiddie pool with Pringles. Get into a bathing suit, as if one were to wade inside a kiddie pool. Get inside the kiddie pool face-first and begin chew...

2 days ago

Angelina Jolie Interviewed By Suri Cruise For Interview Magazine

Cruise: Just, you know, that I’m a moving target, that I’m the prey of every pedophile that ever walked this earth, that I’m destined for drug addiction at ten and prostitution at 11 and an Oscar at ...

2 days ago

5 Reasons I Can’t Wait To Be 80

I’m not talking about discounted movie tickets or other little AARP perks. I’m talking about the less obvious though far more alluring boons that are available to only those with 80 or more birthdays...

2 days ago

The Different Internet K-Holes There Are

In a flash, it’s six hours later and I know the words to all of One Direction’s songs and I hate Finchel and I think bowties are cool and I want Sherlock to shag the bejesus out of John W...

24 may 12

Famous Last Words, Part One

I love last words, or at least am fascinated by last words. Here is part one of a potentially infinite series in which I write about people’s dying utterances, so to speak. “That guy̵...

23 may 12 1 person likes this

What I Don’t Know About Tao Lin’s Third Novel

I assembled a team of high school dropouts to tell me what would shake them out of their literary apathy and convince them to buy an actual book with words in it. Almost every person responded with &...

23 may 12

The Best (And Worst) Tales Of Forgotten American Idol Contestants

The Daily Beast snagged interviews with more than 70 past top-12 contestants, and their words tell us more than we probably need to know about how hard it is to be a singer-songwriter in America, muc...

23 may 12

Confessions Of An International Traveler

The first time I got drunk and threw up was the first time I was abroad: I was in Prague, and I was 17. I lied and told the people I was with that I had been drunk before, but I hadn’t and I overdid ...

23 may 12 2 people like this

26 Lesser-Known Reasons To Call Your Girlfriend

It’s also time that you two “had the talk.” But in this case, “the talk” is about how you need more dish soap, and you’re really sorry that you forgot to put it on the list, but you didn’t think she ...

22 may 12

8 Ways Female Party Animals Behave Like Actual Animals

Hell hath no fury like a hungry drunk girl. A drunk girl who wants (NEEDS) food is more dangerous then an angry dinosaur who wants her stolen egg back. When I started this post, I was going to write ...

22 may 12

My Letter To Cosmopolitan Magazine

The tip I found most upsetting was “Try placing a donut on your man’s shaft. Then go down on him while slowly devouring the tasty treat.” You see, Cosmo, I have Celiac’s Disease, which means I can’t ...

22 may 12

Ways Backpacking Can Be Gross

To this day I often inspect my underwear for creepy crawlies before making contact. Here is a non-exhaustive list I kept of the things that grossed me out while on my post- college journey of self-di...

22 may 12

Every Video Of A Stupid Racist Is Funny Except For This One

But the thing that makes this particular video really unfunny is the venue: The Lincoln City Council chambers. And the nearly five minutes Lincoln council members spent listening to and watching this...

22 may 12 1 person likes this

Commuters Anonymous

When trains are slow and people have forgotten or don’t like their books and their smartphones don’t have service, I imagine they can more readily convince themselves of their own capacity for evil. ...

22 may 12

An Open Letter To All The Men Who’ve Politely Informed Me I’m Not Wearing A Bra

First of all, I’d just like to thank you for taking time out your busy schedule to express concern for the fact that I am indeed not wearing a bra. I do appreciate the myriad of ways you broach the t...

21 may 12 1 person likes this

25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s

You’re going to give your heart to a few people who don’t deserve it. Then, one day you’ll come to your senses and ask them to give it back. You can’t date a jerk and expect t...

21 may 12 6 people like this

5 Life Lessons I Learned In Middle School

My phys-ed teachers totally hated me, and frankly, I don’t blame them — I played with my hair during capture the flag, shamelessly got myself tagged out within the first 30 seconds of dodgeball...

21 may 12

What Happens When You Live Abroad

But there are the fears. And yes, life has gone on without you. And the longer you stay in your new home, the more profound those changes will become. A very dependable feature of people who live abr...

21 may 12 2 people like this

Insane Things I’ve Said To Romantic Partners

What I actually said seems like something a fetishist would ask of a specialty hooker. We’ve all been there. We mean to say something flattering or funny and it just comes off coo-coo bananas. ...

21 may 12 1 person likes this

4 Things You’ll Do The First Year You’re A Post-Grad

A week after I graduated, I was on a transatlantic flight to London for a three-week trip across Western Europe. I traveled because I expected new cities to whisper some ancestral secret to me. I exp...

21 may 12 3 people like this

How To Be Romantic In 2012

Send them YouTube clips of songs you like in Gchat. Feel like these songs will make them understand you more, uncover some secret they had always wanted to know about you. Meet on OKCupid but tell ev...

21 may 12 1 person likes this

25 Things Sorority Girls Taught Me

In college, I pledged a sorority — and spent the next four memorable years pretending I wasn’t the world’s most inept sorority girl. Here’s a quick and dirty inventory of the actually valuable ...

21 may 12 1 person likes this

About The Time I Was Reprimanded By Ryan Gosling

I have no idea why I said this, but before I knew it I had sneered, “Give me a break, Gosling!” cinemafestival / Shutterstock.com Although it’s true that you never forget how to ride a bi...

21 may 12 1 person likes this

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