Would you get bored with me if I told you I fell down?Ok, so lets try a bit harder. I was making my favorite meal, pasta carbonara. The only minus was, that I didnt have bacon or eggs. But what I did...
New year, new bruises, new cuts, new accidents, new moves with a masochism vibe.2012 started out well: I put my six inch heels on, and I sipped on my bubbly. This is a doomed calculation for me. Hey ...
Who takes her sharpest kitchen knife into bed with her, just to peel and slice the perfect Royal Gala?Who forgets about the apple on her hand when finding something way more important on the internet...
Step one: pick your most infected finger. For this trick you need a simple cut (preferably caused by a sharp needle-like object) that has already developed some pus inside it. (Note to self, learn ho...
What does a normal person do when she cuts her finger? Puts on a band-aid.What do I do when I cut my finger? "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CAMERA!"Brötchens can be sneaky bitches.The adhesive used on...
My workplace is extremely hazardous. We got racks and tables in all geometric shapes the 1st grade math book taught us: cubes, triangles, cylinders, octagons, pentagrams, enneagons, hendecagons, etc....
I hear Ms. Gaga is a trend setter. Or was it me? Bruise up birdies!
Vavavoom. What is an electro festival without a bruise? An electro festival. There was a lake. When theres a lake, you go swimming. But I dont swim so I decided to climb trees instead. This tree did ...
Killer heels + dancing all day long = something old, something new, something borrowed, something BLUE! The Achilles tendon is the muscle tendon of the triceps surae, a "three-headed" group o...
A little french bulldog bit me.A dog that feels cornered or without recourse may attack the human who is threatening or attacking it. A dog may also perceive a hand reached out toward its head as an ...
It wasnt a mosquito. It wasnt a falabella. It wasnt some horny individual. It was once again my blood drooling ex-room mate. She thinks its extremely fun to cause me pain. Should I then say no? Its a...
Not only does my clumsiness harm my body but also sometimes the material world around me. In the time frame of two days I managed two break three valuable objects into more pieces than I can count.Fi...
I was just about to surface the bumpy road of Körtestraße with my magicly mixed asphalt concrete, as the shovel I used broke into two and the sharper part found its way on my arm.Oh wait, no I wasnt....
Man its pure agony. Dont look down or your eye might pop out. Popeye. Got some antibiotic drops but cant seem to point them in the right address. Life is a bitch. And then you live.Bacterial conjunct...
Yummy yummy yummy Ive got blood in my tummy. We had a party last weekend. Goodbye Laura party. Im not going anywhere though. Neither are my bruises. Say hello to my latest baby. Its a simultaneous re...
Sometimes you just have to go back to basics when it comes to cuts. This time I pulled a true classic someone might say. Smoking kills, smoking hurts. My all time favorite sentence is the deep shit S...
How can a bruise this small and almost mylittlepony -like cause so much pain? As if someone from below meant to voodoo me and make my life miserable 12/7. If you squint your eyes it looks like a wron...
Danke schön Obi!
Hmm. I dont have a clue.It was a warmish dark night in Neukölln, not that many days ago. I was trying to find my way to the gas station nearby to fill my tank up. Mission accomplished, I felt happy. ...
Döner = pain. Döner = danger. Döner = fly in the ointment.I got home today at noonish. Hunger was in the air. Dreimal Döner bitte. I ran through Essis room with a bag full of goodies. With all that e...
I have a bracelet. Its a shape of a cube. I never go anywhere without it. But yesterday I forgot it at work. I felt so naked. Thank god I had a special someone to draw me a new one.
I think of Heinz canned tomato soup when I see my new babys on my knees. Now how did I manage to get these aurora borealises? That is a story only chosen vips know. And apparently youre not one of th...
What happened? Bier happened. My feet werent obeying my orders so I fell down on the way home. I found it so amusing that I started making snow angels whilst laying there on my butt. Wise ass.Some ba...
I see a clear pattern here. Moving from my lip all the way to my tongue. This time the danger factor was a classic döner (2€). Starving from all that traveling I sank my teeth into a juicy Knoblauchy...
"How, Laura, how?!" The answer is: Im just too talented. Couldnt even get past the glitterized pine tree without a booboo. I was scanning through my presents. Unconsciously I glued one gift c...
Remember this epic badboy? Heres how it has healed itself in the past eight weeks. Still swollen like a thanksgiving turkey gone bad. Two new wounds: situated in such a harmonic and symmetric way tha...
My mom likes to bump into doorways and trip over the invisible labrador lying on the floor. My sister cant walk on 1mm ice or pass the tram tracks without tumbling down flat on her nose. My dad has a...
Love is in the hair. Broken Hearts Club yesterday at Ballhaus. Theme was the 70s. I loathe theme parties. Almost as much as I loathe toes. But I still went and had a blast (from the past).
I hereby declare that All is kaputt! is no more just about bruises and cuts. I welcome to the loving family of pain: stamps from bars and clubs. Stamps are certainly fascinating. Every single one tel...
You are no longer following . Undo?
English
Suomi
Svenska