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Butterfly Ashes
butterflyxashes.blogspot.com
7
Out of the ashes of domestic violence, self-destruction, and paternal degradation, I have emerged and ascended to create these new chapters of my life. I am an ex-Mormon, ex-victim, ex-dropout, ex-troublemaker, ex-suicidal, ex-apathetic, ex-girlfriend, ex-statistic - trying to recreate my own identity without the use of labels. I view the world in shades of black and blue.
#166309 in All , #9508 in Personal

its my blog and ill bombard you with pictures of my baby if i want to

Elliots Newborn Photostaken November 01, 2011at 3 weeks 6 days old click on an image to open the slideshow

11 nov 11

faces

06 nov 11

Macha the cat is indifferent at best

with this new, tiny human that seems to be hanging around a lot lately.

05 nov 11

thoughts that keep me up at night

Is she breathing? Yes. Okay, good. . . . . Is she breathing?

31 oct 11

postpartum

My doctor asks me if Ive been feeling weepy. Or overwhelmed. Or stressed. Since the baby was born. I sit with my hands in my lap, staring at the jagged edges of my gnawed-down fingernails. The questi...

29 oct 11

the start of something

Introducing:Elliot Rose Gallagherborn October 5, 2011 2:24am6lbs 7oz, 18 inches long

07 oct 11

invalid

Pregnancy is a dehumanizing experience. I feel like an incubator. I feel like breeding livestock. For the past three weeks, Ive been in and out of the labor and delivery ward of my hospital for spiki...

18 sep 11

deep thoughts

Peeing when youre eight months pregnant feels like a tiny orgasm. Thought you should know.

11 sep 11

bump.

34.5 weeks down.see 22 weeks pics

06 sep 11

fall semester 2011

Fall classes start tomorrow. And this is the first time since starting college that Im not excited for the new semester. Most of these classes are online classes - my only option since Im due mid-sem...

28 aug 11

on growing up and moving on

We moved recently. From a one (and a half) bedroom, one bathroom condo to a three bedroom, two bathroom apartment in the same city. I guess this is what grown-ups are supposed to do - move up and mov...

24 aug 11

what im obsessed with today

21 aug 11

thoughts that keep me up at night

The idea of going through childbirth is enough to send me into a panicked cold sweat. And as the weeks tick down and the inevitable grand-finale to my pregnancy draws ever closer, I become more and m...

17 aug 11

Macha the cat is not amused . . .

. . .with my new-found sense of domesticity.He thinks knitting is for tools.

30 jul 11

thoughts that keep me up at night

How am I ever going to pay back these student loans? Majoring in English Literature may not have been the best idea . . .

24 jul 11

still born

It was such a small thing—the delicate drops of bloodbetween her legs,crossed at her kneesbelow the swell of her.She held him in like thisuntil they tore her open,pulled him out, pink and plasticand ...

18 jul 11

thoughts that keep me up at night

Linguistically speaking, shouldnt "first," "second," and "third" be spelled and  pronounced one-th, two-th, and three-th? Stay with me here. The rest of the number rankin...

12 jun 11

domestic

Guys. Its getting worse. The need to be domestic. To nest. To create. To drown myself in oceans of soft baby pink. I made these. And it was fun. There. I said it. Oiy. My feminism hurts. 

12 jun 11

bump.

Only 22 weeks along and already huge.

09 jun 11

i dont want to brag but . . .

       I got my associates degree in the mail a few days ago (I opted to not suffer through the ceremony). While this may not seem like a big deal to many, I really am quite proud...

07 jun 11

what im obsessed with today

Someday I will write words that will inspire chills like this video gave to me.

07 jun 11

The Conflict of Domestic Femininity in the 1960s

The Conflict of Domestic Femininity in the 1960s:Second-Wave Feminism Responses in Literature             The 1960s were a pivotal and controversial period for womens ri...

07 jun 11

confession

I am completely in love with this little girl. I had my anatomy ultrasound yesterday to make sure she was growing and forming on schedule. Everything looked great. Shes absolutely perfect - a li...

01 jun 11

confession

Im more domestic than I like to let on. I wanted to make something for her, so I learned to knit. Dont worry, Im not baking cupcakes yet. Thats when you should really start to worry about me.

14 may 11

baby butterfly is a . . .

Because I hate surprises . . . And because I was the kid that peekd every Christmas, tearing long strips from the gift wrapping and returning the gift with the torn side against the tree . . .&n...

11 may 11

mothers day in transition

photo Ive started to feel your movements - subtle flicks and flutters in my stomach that remind me that youre in there, that everything is about to change. And even though we havent met, I already fe...

09 may 11

Pushed (revised)

Photo When she died, I heard her heart beat for the last time— a solid, defiant thud against her falling chest. Her eyes were half-open, the once vivid blueness now a shade of dull gray, still squint...

01 may 11

Confession . . .

Everything is about to change.

21 apr 11

hello out there

Just a quick note to let everyone know that I am indeed alive. Ive had a really crazy month and theres been some shocking new revelations that Ive had to digest and adjust to. But more on that later....

08 mar 11

free falling (revised)

            When I told her I loved her, she flinched. We’d been watching bad horror movies all night and the words slipped out suddenly, when Jason appeared on the...

08 feb 11

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