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TO MY WIFE
tomywife.tumblr.com
229
NOTES FOR MY FUTURE WIFE. THINGS I’LL DO, THINGS I WON’T. EITHER WAY, YOU’LL BE MINE AND I YOURS.
#5916 in All

THE END

Let’s just be good to each other.

21 sep 11

PIE DEFENDER

If somebody pies me in the face, please attack and punch them.

20 jul 11 2 people like this

SAFETY FIRST

I’d like to make you feel safe, both with my love and a state-of-the-art alarm system…similar to what Kevin had in Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

19 jul 11 2 people like this

HISTORICAL REFERENCES

Let’s just agree that internet history is history.

16 jul 11

ITS LIKE

You’ve got me under the imperius curse or something.

15 jul 11

SEASONAL

You’re not Summer and I’m not that guy that was obsessed with Summer for 500 days. I’m more of a Frodo Baggins. Ha, who are we kidding, I’m the fat hobbit.

30 jun 11

MOVE IN DAY

Something about eating Chinese food on the floor for the first meal in a new place feels so right and tastes so good.

29 jun 11

SUMMER FRIDAYS

I’ll pack the bag, meet you downstairs, mid-day at your office and then we’re getting the fuck out of here.

21 jun 11 1 person likes this

RIHANNA

I wanna make you feel like you’re the only girl in the world. Like you’re the only one I’ll ever love. Like you’re the only one that knows my heart. Like you’re the only one in command. Dance break.

16 jun 11

FIESTA

I would like pinatas to have a regular appearance in our life. I’m not sure exactly how, but we’ll figure it out.

15 jun 11 4 people like this

AIM

If we were in the 9th grade, I would dedicate my AIM profile to you.

13 jun 11

MEETINGS

I may at times schedule 2 hour meetings at work (read: leave the gas station that employs me) just to ditch and hang out with you.

09 jun 11

ARENT YOU

Glad we didn’t meet on a reality show?

08 jun 11

LAST PIECE

I will give you and only you my last piece of gum. Or Altoid.

01 jun 11 1 person likes this

TAGGED

Confession: I went through every tagged picture of you on facebook, a really long time ago. But it’s not stalking because it’s facebook.

25 may 11 1 person likes this

EZPASS

Must-have, forget it, not living without it.

23 may 11

HARDIHARHAR

I want to make you laugh, if that requires me dancing around the house in my underwear with or without you, consider it done. If not, I’m going to do that anyway so deal with it.

16 may 11 2 people like this

TANGO

I have really romantic visions of doing a sultry tango where our bodies never stop touching in the barrios of Buenos Aires…but it will end up being the chicken dance in the kitchen.

10 may 11 1 person likes this

SUNDAY NIGHT

Chinese food, crap TV, late night, bed.

09 may 11 2 people like this

POOL TABLES

Multifunctional.

07 may 11 1 person likes this

PUBLIC

For our first public appearance, balcony or not, I’ll kiss you way more than twice. Just saying.

29 apr 11 6 people like this

SCENE

I don’t like causing scenes at restaurants…but if I throw down the napkin at the end of dinner and scream, “I’m never answering a Craigslist ad again!” you could play along. Role playing is fun, so i...

28 apr 11 3 people like this

DISPOSAL

Let’s make a pact to properly dispose of toenails. Gross? Maybe, but hey nobody said this would be easy.

27 apr 11 1 person likes this

COBBLESTONES

Say you’re wearing your really crazy shoes that hurt your feet and we come across a patch of cobblestones—I’d give you a piggyback ride, hail a cab and ask that we never return to the meatpacking dis...

26 apr 11

FYI

I’m making this up as we go along, along this crazy road they call life. I hear it’s a highway and that I would like to ride it all night long.

25 apr 11

FINE

I’ll buy those tampons, but I’m not happy about it.

22 apr 11 1 person likes this

SINGING

I sing and sometimes dance in the shower. If you’re in there with me, please feel free to join in…but just know that it happens.

21 apr 11 2 people like this

FRENCH GIRLS

I was an art major. If you asked me to draw you like one of my french girls, I’d get right on that. Afterwards, we could drag out an inevitable story line until one of us drowns in the freezing Atlan...

20 apr 11

SOMETIMES

I ride my horse into the woods and chop wood, fix motorcylces with paperclips, model for paper towel companies and mine diamonds shaped like seahorses. PSYCH no I don’t.

19 apr 11

MEMES

Internet memes have no place in the bedroom.

18 apr 11

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