Let’s just be good to each other.
If somebody pies me in the face, please attack and punch them.
I’d like to make you feel safe, both with my love and a state-of-the-art alarm system…similar to what Kevin had in Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.
Let’s just agree that internet history is history.
You’ve got me under the imperius curse or something.
You’re not Summer and I’m not that guy that was obsessed with Summer for 500 days. I’m more of a Frodo Baggins. Ha, who are we kidding, I’m the fat hobbit.
Something about eating Chinese food on the floor for the first meal in a new place feels so right and tastes so good.
I’ll pack the bag, meet you downstairs, mid-day at your office and then we’re getting the fuck out of here.
I wanna make you feel like you’re the only girl in the world. Like you’re the only one I’ll ever love. Like you’re the only one that knows my heart. Like you’re the only one in command. Dance break.
I would like pinatas to have a regular appearance in our life. I’m not sure exactly how, but we’ll figure it out.
If we were in the 9th grade, I would dedicate my AIM profile to you.
I may at times schedule 2 hour meetings at work (read: leave the gas station that employs me) just to ditch and hang out with you.
Glad we didn’t meet on a reality show?
I will give you and only you my last piece of gum. Or Altoid.
Confession: I went through every tagged picture of you on facebook, a really long time ago. But it’s not stalking because it’s facebook.
Must-have, forget it, not living without it.
I want to make you laugh, if that requires me dancing around the house in my underwear with or without you, consider it done. If not, I’m going to do that anyway so deal with it.
I have really romantic visions of doing a sultry tango where our bodies never stop touching in the barrios of Buenos Aires…but it will end up being the chicken dance in the kitchen.
Chinese food, crap TV, late night, bed.
Multifunctional.
For our first public appearance, balcony or not, I’ll kiss you way more than twice. Just saying.
I don’t like causing scenes at restaurants…but if I throw down the napkin at the end of dinner and scream, “I’m never answering a Craigslist ad again!” you could play along. Role playing is fun, so i...
Let’s make a pact to properly dispose of toenails. Gross? Maybe, but hey nobody said this would be easy.
Say you’re wearing your really crazy shoes that hurt your feet and we come across a patch of cobblestones—I’d give you a piggyback ride, hail a cab and ask that we never return to the meatpacking dis...
I’m making this up as we go along, along this crazy road they call life. I hear it’s a highway and that I would like to ride it all night long.
I’ll buy those tampons, but I’m not happy about it.
I sing and sometimes dance in the shower. If you’re in there with me, please feel free to join in…but just know that it happens.
I was an art major. If you asked me to draw you like one of my french girls, I’d get right on that. Afterwards, we could drag out an inevitable story line until one of us drowns in the freezing Atlan...
I ride my horse into the woods and chop wood, fix motorcylces with paperclips, model for paper towel companies and mine diamonds shaped like seahorses. PSYCH no I don’t.
Internet memes have no place in the bedroom.
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