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Zo they say.
zoefoster.tumblr.com
51
If you like beauty, you will enjoy my blog at primped.com.au If you like to read about relationships and dating, you will like my monthly column in Cosmo. If you like books, you will enjoy Textbook Romance, Air Kisses and Playing the Field. If you like fantastic websites about people named Zoe Foster, go to zoefoster.com.au If you do not like any of these things, no offence, but you are a moron.
#26824 in All

Im 20 but Ive never had a boyfriend and all the boys I like dont seem to like me. Is Textbook Roman...

Dear 20, Do they not like you because you spit on them and call them names and nick their lunch...

2 days ago

Hi Zoe, Im in a conundrum and I need your guidance! Im invited to a party my ex is going to, and ap...

Dear Conundrumy, Fair call, that’s pretty fresh after three years together. It must come down...

2 days ago

Hi Zoe, I am writing on behalf of my mum. Shes recently had a double mastectomy and is now undergoi...

Dear Lovely Daughter, Poor mum… I have had two friends go through this same ordeal, and have...

2 days ago

Attn: FOSTER, Zoe. Are you aware that your recent(ish) publication "Amazing Face" is curren...

Dear Unamazing Face, Thank you for your message. I sadly am aware of this, yes, and there are good...

2 days ago

Dear Meowbert,Lift game immediately.From your friend,Zoe

Dear Meowbert, Lift game immediately. From your friend, Zoe

3 days ago

Dear Moonrise Kingdom, You marvellous, whimsical, gorgeous...

Dear Moonrise Kingdom, You marvellous, whimsical, gorgeous beast. How delightful it was to watch the love story of bewitching Suzy Bishop and brave Sam Shakusksy unfurl before me last night. Wes Ande...

4 days ago

Dear Andy Samberg,“Just eatin’ right and making...

Dear Andy Samberg, “Just eatin’ right and making positive choices.” From your friend, Zoe

6 days ago

Dear Most Excellent and Creative Self-Potrait I’ve Ever...

Dear Most Excellent and Creative Self-Potrait I’ve Ever Seen, You are most excellent! And so creative! I thoroughly enjoy the brain output of your competitors William Wilkinson and Mike Foster Rothba...

17 may 12

dear zoe - where might a desperate lady procure the new edition of textbook romance?

Dear Great Taste and Rightly Desperate, Thank you for your excellent and timely question. You should...

17 may 12

Dear Hugo Gernsback,I would like to purchase one of these...

Dear Hugo Gernsback, I would like to purchase one of these “Isolators” please. I assume that as well as eliminating outside noises, and preventing unnecessary consumption of pre-5pm alcoholic beverag...

16 may 12

Dear Huge Eagle With A Knife Flying At Me,I’LL GET YOU...

Dear Huge Eagle With A Knife Flying At Me, I’LL GET YOU THE MONEY! I swear I’m good for it, I SWEAR. Just please… please don’t kill me, I have children, a wife! I’ll have it for you tomorrow. I’ll co...

09 may 12

Dear Zoe, this dame has a conundrum, I think you can help! There is this guy at uni Ive been talkin...

Dear Facebook Requesty, NO. You do not send a Facebook request! If he is indeed as lovely as you...

07 may 12

Dear Andy Samberg,Perfect.F rom your friend,Zoe

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05 may 12

Dear Gotye,How dare you.Give back the goat, and apologise to...

Dear Gotye, How dare you. Give back the goat, and apologise to my monkey at once. From your friend, Zoe

04 may 12

Dear Gentleman Singing,I’m so sorry, I appeared to have...

Dear Gentleman Singing, I’m so sorry, I appeared to have missed your name. Once more please? From your friend, Zoe

03 may 12

Dear Young Audrey Hepburn With Your Pet Deer Pip,Not delightful...

Dear Young Audrey Hepburn With Your Pet Deer Pip, Not delightful enough. Add butterflies. From your friend, Zoe

02 may 12

Dear Travelling Monkeys,Gosh guys, I hope you have valid...

Dear Travelling Monkeys, Gosh guys, I hope you have valid tickets. I got a $100 fine last week for riding that guy with an expired Travel Ten. From your friend, Zoe

29 apr 12

Dear Sofisticated Party Glasses Sign,Well, you’ve...

Dear Sofisticated Party Glasses Sign, Well, you’ve confused me. Either you are being ironic and clever, or you have been created by a moron. Either way, $5.99 is a steal. From your friend, Zoe

24 apr 12

Dear Brand New Textbook Romance Book Jacket,I love you.I love...

Dear Brand New Textbook Romance Book Jacket, I love you. I love you so much. You were lovingly created by the masterful, delightful Allison Colpoys, who does all of my covers and who is criminally ta...

17 apr 12

Dear Sweet Dames Who Came to My Book Signing Last Night,Even my...

Dear Sweet Dames Who Came to My Book Signing Last Night, Even my publicist and the gent from Dymocks agreed: there really is no more adorable gaggle of women than those who come along to my waffly, g...

13 apr 12

My cousin had a baby girl yesterday. She named her Zoe. Please give your top tips for a successful ...

Dear Zoe-admirer, Your cousin has terrific taste. And you have excellent question asking pizazz. Top...

11 apr 12 1 person likes this

Dear People Who Like To Win Really Excellent Books,Did you EVEN...

Dear People Who Like To Win Really Excellent Books, Did you EVEN KNOW that if you tweet a photo of yourself and your copy of The Younger Man with #theyoungerman as your hashtag on Tuesday April 10 or...

04 apr 12

Dear Sydney Book Signing,Well. I can’t wait to see you...

Dear Sydney Book Signing, Well. I can’t wait to see you next Thursday, April 12! And all of the cute fruits who will come along, also. I know you’re being held at Dymocks, 424 George St, Sydney, and ...

03 apr 12

Dear Little Dog With Horse Head On,Not funny enough.Add...

Dear Little Dog With Horse Head On, Not funny enough. Add saddle. From your friend, Zoe

02 apr 12

zo, what is your opinion on to Xx or not to Xx at the end of a text message to a gentleman in the e...

Dear Confused, You have asked a terrific question, and one I’m glad you did. Because yes, I...

29 mar 12

Dear Sloths That I Love So Much,One day you will rule the...

Dear Sloths That I Love So Much, One day you will rule the world. I, for one, welcome our new docile overlords. From your friend, Zoe

27 mar 12

Dear Meowbert’s Writing Process,Well. I can see exactly...

Dear Meowbert’s Writing Process, Well. I can see exactly what’s happening here: 1. You had a really terrific idea. 2. You realise it’s actually the worst idea ever. 3. You are disgusted with yours...

23 mar 12

Hi Zoe, just read the tumblr about the book signing in Melbourne, and got extremely jealous, so so ...

Dear Jealous Eyes, Quite possibly! I will know very soon and will of course saturate you in facts...

21 mar 12

Dear Zoe, What else can teenage girls do to attract boys other than "being yourself", as th...

Dear Already Yourself, Thank You Very Much, You raise a terrific point. Although, in defence of the...

21 mar 12

Dear Tough Guys Who Stack or Get Hurt,I shouldn’t laugh...

Dear Tough Guys Who Stack or Get Hurt, I shouldn’t laugh at your misfortune, I am enough of a gentleman to know that. But in a survey performed inside my brain, it was decided that some of you kind o...

18 mar 12

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